Talking To Teens About College

Talking To Teens About College

By Brittany MaschalApr 17, 2025

The college process often amplifies anxiety among teens and their parents, yet stress is inevitable. The goal is to manage it healthily, according to Lisa Damour, a clinical psychologist, author of The Emotional Lives of Teenagers, and host of the Ask Lisa podcast.

Lisa joined Jeff Selingo on a special 30-minute edition of “Next Office Hour” last week. Let’s all give the episode a listen. Some top takeaways:

Accept discomfort. Parents should acknowledge emotional stress as normal. “We cannot prevent emotional pain in our teenagers. Rather, we should help them manage discomfort when it comes,” Damour said. The focus should be on helping teens cope constructively, like allowing space for healthy distractions or emotions rather than harmful habits

Encourage healthy coping. Crying, spending time with friends, physical activity, and mindful rest are all beneficial ways teens can process stress. Parents should be alert only when teens use costly coping mechanisms like substance use or self-criticism.

Reframe high school. Teens should focus on cultivating genuine interests and strengths rather than solely trying to impress admissions officers. Enjoying downtime without guilt is crucial for mental health.

Recognize parental roles. I loved Lisa’s analogy of the Pit Crew vs. the Tow Truck. Parents often feel pulled between supporting their kids (pit crew) and pushing them (tow truck). Constant towing suggests a teen may not be ready for college, highlighting the value of considering gap years or alternative pathways.

Dealing with rejection. College admissions isn’t always meritocratic. When teens face rejection, validate their feelings but emphasize they’ll thrive by focusing on what they can control.

The big picture? Parents and teens often overestimate how much college prestige matters.

If you don’t follow Jeff Selingo, you should. See past issues and subscribe to his newsletter. You can also find him on LinkedIn, Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and Threads if social is your thing!

*Stay in the know! Subscribe*

 

Advice, Applying to College, Books, College Admissions News, College Application, For College Counselors, High School, Ivy League Admissions, News, Parenting, Reading List, Wellness, , , , , ,
What Makes an Effective Personal Statement or Common App Essay

What Makes an Effective Personal Statement or Common App Essay

By Brittany MaschalJun 14, 2024

Your personal statement should uniquely reflect who you are, what you value, and how you think—while also engaging and even surprising the reader.

You may be thinking, “Nothing much has happened to me! How can I surprise the reader?” Well, one of the biggest myths about the personal statement is that you can’t write a good one unless you have a “big” or tragic story to tell: “I was on my way to becoming a professional skater before I shattered my ankle,” or “I overcame a life-threatening disease then founded my own nonprofit to fund research on that disease.” While an experience like this could make for an excellent (though painful) personal statement, it could also make for…a really boring essay. Though it’s sad to say it, admissions officers have read many of these stories and so aren’t surprised or even moved by them.

Just think about it: admissions officers read thousands of essays every year, year after year. To get through them all, they have to read quickly, stopping once they figure out which “pile” you belong in (yes, no, or maybe). Your goal is to force that reader to slow down, even stop—to make them want to read your essay, to make them think, “I’ve never seen this before!” Admissions officers are more likely to have seen the “big” stories before—every year, they read thousands of essays about sports injuries and divorces, about Eagle Scout projects and difficult classes. Often, the best way to surprise the reader is to think small—to write about an unusual hobby (Sample Essay 6 in The Complete College Essay Handbook) or passion (Sample Essay 5 in The Complete College Essay Handbook)—or to write about a more common experience in an unexpected way, like discussing your parent’s divorce in the context of a violent protest (Sample Essay 4 in The Complete College Essay Handbook). Surprise can also be contextual. A varsity soccer player writing about varsity soccer? Not surprising. A varsity soccer player writing about his passion for cooking? That’s surprising!

A note: not all surprises are not created equal. There is the pleasant, gentle “surprise party” kind of surprise, and then there is shock, which can be invoked through violent images or vulgar confessions, and which produces negative emotions—fear, disgust, anger, and more.

Finally, a word on style and structure. The personal statement has two central elements: scene and reflection. Scene shows the reader what happened in an exciting way, and reflection explains its relevance. At the same time, your personal statement shouldn’t be all scene, but a balanced mix of scene and reflection. Reflection enables you to place the scene into its larger context and to show you thinking through the story.

Grad a copy of The Complete College Essay Handbook to keep learning more!

*Stay in the know! Subscribe*

Advice, Applying to College, Books, College Application, College Essays, Common Application, Common Application Essay, Essay Experts, Essays, For College Counselors, High School, Ivy League Admissions, News, Personal Statement, Supplemental Essays, The Complete College Essay Handbook, Tutorial, Writing Workshops, , , , , , , , , , , , ,
Jeff Selingo – Upcoming College Admissions Book

Jeff Selingo – Upcoming College Admissions Book

By Brittany MaschalDec 19, 2023

I’m excited for Jeff Selingo’s upcoming book and its emphasis on considering the vastness of higher education beyond a handful of selective schools—much needed. Read more about it below.

—

Lots of people have been asking me what I’ve found so far in the research and how they might help, so I wanted to give a quick update before the calendar turns to 2024.

First, as I’ve talked to parents and college counselors in recent months, I’ve been thinking about what this book needs to do. In much the same way as Atomic Habits and The Power of Habit tried to shift our mindset about developing better habits, my belief is that this book must help us reexamine what makes a “good” college. The goal is not for students and parents to settle for a second choice, but to consider the vastness of higher education beyond a handful of selective schools.

As I map out the book, the first half will be focused on explaining to readers why they need to reevaluate their college strategy in the first place. If you’ve been through the process recently, you’re probably thinking duh, of course they do. But everyone approaches this process as newbies, thinking their experience will be different. And as my editor reminds me, we live in an aspirational society: we want to aim for what we’re told is the top.

In the first half, I plan to illustrate how the admissions landscape has shifted in just the last few years by following the college-going experiences of recent graduating classes at three or four high schools that I’m in the process of identifying now (if you’re at a high school and want to be considered, reach out). For that section, I’m often reminded of this scene from Jeff Makris, director of college counseling at Stuyvesant High School, for a piece I wrote in New York magazine last year:

While we spoke, Makris pulled up the admissions results for his students going back to 2016. He rattled off a bunch of college names. About the same number of his students get accepted at the usual suspects in the Ivy League now as six years ago, though many more apply too. What might surprise students and parents from a few years ago, however, is the next set of colleges Makris mentioned: Northeastern, Case Western, Boston University, and Binghamton University. In 2016, 298 students applied to Northeastern, and 91 were admitted; last year, applications to the Boston school jumped to 422, but only 49 were admitted. Last year, 129 Stuy students applied to Case Western, about the same number as in 2017, but admits were almost cut in half to 36. In 2016, the acceptance rate for Stuy’s students who applied to Boston University was 43 percent; last year, it was 14 percent. Normally, Makris said, about 50 to 75 graduates enroll at Binghamton University, one of the state’s top public universities but a safety school among many Stuy students. This fall, 124 students went there.”

So how can you help? He says:

I’m always on the lookout for families who’ve been through the process at least once and have a kid in college (or recently out) and might have a story to tell about how they were on the path for Plan A and it didn’t work out—they didn’t get in, they couldn’t afford it, or for some other reason it wasn’t the right fit—and they turned to Plan B, which in the end turned out better.

If you can help in any way as a potential source, please complete this short form. I won’t be able to respond to everyone, but I will reach out if you fit what I’m looking for to illustrate the research.

*Stay in the know! Subscribe*

Admissions Results, Advice, Applying to College, Books, College Application, For College Counselors, High School, Ivy League Admissions, News, Parenting, Rankings, Reading List, , , , , , , ,
Never Enough: When Achievement Culture Becomes Toxic-and What We Can Do About It

Never Enough: When Achievement Culture Becomes Toxic-and What We Can Do About It

By BMC BloggerSep 19, 2023

A tough one to read as a college counselor. Nothing new here from where we sit, but these are still hard truths and a call to action. It’s on all of us—not just parents!

Never Enough: When Achievement Culture Becomes Toxic-and What We Can Do About It.

A must-read!

*Stay in the know! Subscribe*

Advice, Applying to College, Books, College Application, For College Counselors, High School, Mental Health, News, Off to College, Parenting, , , , , , ,
Diversity and identity essays in college admissions and the possible end of affirmative action

Diversity and identity essays in college admissions and the possible end of affirmative action

By BMC BloggerMar 30, 2023

Colleges are starting to outline potential next steps if affirmative action is overturned and race can no longer be explicitly used as a factor in the admissions process. 

A recent article in the Brown Daily Herald noted:

Associate Provost for Enrollment Logan Powell says essays would focus on race as one part of identity, describes ‘structured meetings’ of Brown officials to prepare for rulings

And today, Penn’s DP posted about how Penn may respond if affirmative action is overturned. The DP also noted diversity statements (aka essays) 

Half of The Complete College Essay Handbook is dedicated to supplemental essays, which are the essays schools can request in addition to the Common App essay (aka the personal statement). Once you know the story you’re conveying in your personal statement, you can use the supplements to “round out” your application, whether by elaborating on an extracurricular, conveying your interest in an area of study, or even focusing on meaningful aspects of your identity or a community to which you belong.  

Community and Identity is one of the four types of supplements we discuss in the book, and it’s this category of essay Provost Powell is referencing. If race-conscious admission is eliminated, more essays of this type should emerge on applications and become even more critical in the efforts of colleges to build well-rounded, diverse classes. 

Through Community and Identity essays, admissions officers hope to get a sense of not only who you are and what shapes you but also how you interact with others in a group setting—a skill needed in college and your career. Often, Community and Identity essays are just as personal as the personal statement, though many are much shorter in length, averaging between 250 and 450 words.

The types of communities you belong to might include but are not limited to: 

  • Racial and ethnic communities
  • The LGBTQ+ community
  • Religious community
  • School community
  • Geographic community (could range from a specific neighborhood, city, or state to a whole country if you’re applying as an international student)
  • A specific socioeconomic community
  • Family community
  • A community based around a job, an extracurricular, or a hobby
  • Any other special school and/or local groups
  • Any other group you were born into (e.g., having a physical disability or a chronic illness, being an only child, having red hair)

You might have noticed that many of these communities speak to diversity in some way. Diversity is something admissions officers want, and now more than ever before might need, to learn about when they ask you to discuss your communities and identity. Diversity encompasses a wide range of other aspects of identity. Diversity is whatever experience or aspect of your identity makes you unique. The communities we belong to often help determine and define this difference. Community, identity, and diversity are all closely intertwined. 

Reflection is also an important component of many Community and Identity essays. When considering your identity in relation to a community, you will need to reflect on your role within that community, consider what it means to you, and examine what you have learned as a member. This means you can’t simply describe or celebrate the community or simply list all the accomplishments you’ve had as a member; you should take the time to reflect on the difficulties (and joys) of being a part of that community and how that community has helped make you who you are today.

For sample Community and Identity essays and a deeper discussion of how to approach writing this type of essay, grab a copy of The Complete College Essay Handbook. If you would like a complimentary copy for your school library or counseling office, or if cost is a barrier, please write to us. 

*Stay in the know! Subscribe*

Academic Resources, Advice, Books, College Application, College Essays, Essay Experts, Essays, For College Counselors, High School, Ivy League Admissions, News, Personal Statement, Supplemental Essays, The Complete College Essay Handbook, , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
The Purpose of & How to Tackle College Specific Essays (Supplemental Essays)

The Purpose of & How to Tackle College Specific Essays (Supplemental Essays)

By BMC BloggerJun 21, 2022

The supplemental essays (or “supps” as we call them) are a chance for you to “supplement” your personal statement (aka the Common App essay) with more information about who you are and what makes you tick. Although many supps ask you to write about seemingly straightforward topics, like your extracurriculars or academics, they are not merely an opportunity to rehash your résumé or the activities section of the Common Application. They are, like the personal statement, an opportunity to tell another deeply personal story—not to brag about your brag-worthy accomplishments. Remember: it is stories, not accomplishments, that will make your application memorable.

For your essay to count as a story, it needs to tell a narrative that charts personal progress and change. Maybe your résumé is full of community service, and though you love it now, when you started, it felt like a chore. Tell that story. Maybe you played piano for ten years only to quit in tenth grade so you could devote more time to your real passion—computer science. Tell that story. Maybe you founded a club, and no one came to the first meeting, but you decided to keep going, and now you have a small but devoted core group. Tell. That. Story. In other words: Tell the unvarnished true story, even if that story isn’t neat or pretty. Those are the best stories!

Although supps present a valuable opportunity to make yourself even more memorable to your favorite schools, they also present a daunting amount of work: the majority of schools require at least one supplemental essay, and some, like MIT and Wake Forest, ask you to complete five or more. Many students we work with end up having to complete, on average, ten to fifteen sets of supps, or anywhere from eight to twenty additional essays. This is an insane amount of writing, and it can seem especially challenging because the prompts for these essays appear to vary greatly from school to school.

Don’t be daunted. You don’t have to write twenty unique essays!

Over the years, we have identified four types of essays that admissions officers most commonly look for. The students we work with write, on average, these four essays that they are then able to adapt and repurpose for different word counts and prompts.  They are:

  • Academic and Intellectual Interests
  • Community and Identity
  • Creativity
  • Impact and Influence

And following our method, you can do this too! In The Complete College Essay Handbook, we provide:

  • An overview of the type, with writing advice
  • Sample essays to show you how it’s done at different word limits
  • Both obvious and less-obvious prompts, so you can get a sense of the ways colleges phrase each question
  • A brief brainstorming questionnaire targeted to that type

We also show you how to adapt your essays for higher or lower word limits and how to repurpose your essays for the few prompts that fall outside of the four types. Using our methods, you’ll be able to maximize your time by writing fewer, but more effective and widely applicable, supplemental essays.

Get a copy today (paperback or ebook option), or if you are interested in working with us 1:1, reach out via email!

 *Stay in the know! Subscribe*

Advice, Books, College Application, Essay Experts, Essays, High School, News, Supplemental Essays, The Complete College Essay Handbook, , , , , , , , , , , ,
Out Now on Amazon: The Complete College Essay Handbook!

Out Now on Amazon: The Complete College Essay Handbook!

By Brittany MaschalMar 01, 2022

Hi. If this were a podcast, this would be the part where we’d say, in our distinct voices: “I’m Brittany.” And then: “I’m Emma.” We’ve been working together to guide students through their college applications since 2016. After a few years, we realized our process was not reflected in any of the essay materials we found elsewhere, so we decided to write it down. What started as internal documents for our students eventually turned into a book. Since it is time to start thinking about essays, remember that…

The Complete College Essay Handbook is available on Amazon! 

It’s a no-frills, practical guide that will give students the confidence and know-how they need to craft the best essays for every single school on their list—in less time and with less stress. The Complete College Essay Handbook walks students through:

  • What makes an essay stand out, drawing on sample essays by real students to illustrate main points
  • Brainstorming activities to find the best topics for the personal statement and supplemental essays
  • How to write the two central components of every application essay: scene and reflection
  • Editing and revision—including techniques to cut down or expand an essay to hit the word limit
  • The four types of supplemental essays and how to decode the different essay prompts, using actual essay questions
  • The strategy behind a well-rounded set of application essays

We are excited to get our expertise and years of experience into the hands of as many students as possible—especially now that it’s college application season!

We’d be so grateful if you shared a link to The Complete College Essay Handbook with friends and family, and if you decide to purchase it—thank you, and also consider leaving a review (verified Amazon reviews are huge for increasing exposure). If you have feedback—or just want to say hi—email us at brittemmaessays@gmail.com. 

Thank you for your support!

Brittany & Emma

Academic Resources, Books, College Application, Common Application, Common Application Essay, Essay Experts, Essays, High School, News, Personal Statement, Supplemental Essays, The Complete College Essay Handbook, , , , , , , ,
The Complete College Essay Handbook

The Complete College Essay Handbook

By Brittany MaschalJun 29, 2021
Big news! Our essay book hits Amazon in July!
 
The Complete College Essay Handbook demystifies the entire college essay writing process with easy-to-follow directions and hands-on activities that have worked for hundreds of students.
 
Maschal, a former admissions officer, and Wood, a professional writer and writing teacher, draw on their combined expertise to help students craft a successful set of application essays for every school on their list. Supplemental essays in particular can seem overwhelming—some schools ask students to write as many as six essays in addition to the personal statement. Maschal and Wood identify four types of supplemental essays, walking students through how to write each one and then how to recycle these essays for other schools.
 
The Complete College Essay Handbook walks students through:
 
  • What makes an essay stand out, drawing on sample essays by real students to illustrate main points
  • Brainstorming activities to find the best topics for the personal statement and supplemental essays
  • How to write the two central components of every application essay: scene and reflection
  • Editing and revision—including techniques to cut down or expand an essay to hit the word limit
  • The four types of supplemental essays and how to decode the different essay prompts, using actual essay questions
  • The strategy behind a well-rounded set of application essays
The Complete College Essay Handbook is a no-frills, practical guide that will give students the confidence and know-how they need to craft the best essays for every single school on their list—in less time and with less stress.
 
We hope you grab a copy next month and let us know what you think!
 
*Stay in the know! Subscribe*
Academic Resources, Books, Common Application Essay, Essay Experts, Essays, For College Counselors, High School, News, Personal Statement, Reading List, The Complete College Essay Handbook, , , , , , , ,
The College Conversation

The College Conversation

By Brittany MaschalDec 11, 2020

There’s a new-ish college book that I actually like! It just so happens to be authored by Penn’s Eric Furda and longtime higher ed writer, Jacques Steinberg (if you studied high ed you’ve read his stuff; excellent!). 

Advice, Books, College Application, High School, Parenting, , , ,

Annual Summer Reading List

By Brittany MaschalJun 25, 2019

Photo by Fabiola Peñalba on Unsplash

For years, Valerie Strauss has published an annual summer reading list assembled by Brennan Barnard, the director of college counseling at the private Derryfield School in New Hampshire and college admission program manager of the Making Caring Common project of the Harvard Graduate School of Education. Barnard asks fellow high school college admissions counselors as well as college admissions deans for recommendations of books for students and parents to read. Some of the several dozen suggestions are related to the education world, and some are not.

You can find the full 2019 list here.

I have my own reading list for this year, and I am excited to add a few from his list. I am currently reading The Moment of Lift: How Empowering Women Changes the World by Melinda Gates. It was a slow start for me, but I am glad I kept reading; there are some wonderful messages around unity, inclusion, and connection, and I have enjoyed learning about her early years at Microsoft, how she ramped up her work in their foundation, and even her relationship with Bill. I was not expecting to learn about their relationship at all! How she weaves together data and storytelling appeals to me, and I more now than before (which I did not think was possible) believe that when you lift up women, you lift up humanity. This book is a call to action if you did not feel compelled already.

I have also read the following books this year:

  • Boy Erased
  • Difficult Women  
  • Brave, Not Perfect: Fear Less, Fail More, and Live Bolder
  • Fraternity
  • Becoming
  • To The Next Step
  • The Path Made Clear

And I will be adding the following from Barnard’s list to my list:

It seems that on almost every book list related to college, Julie Lythcott-Haims’ book is included, and I could not be more happy about that!!! I absolutely loved this book when I read it and its messages are as powerful and relevant today as they were in 2015. I suggest all parents read this book:

“How to Raise an Adult: Break Free of the Overparenting Trap and Prepare Your Kid for Success” by Julie Lythcott-Haims

Happy reading!!!

 

 

 *Stay in the know! Subscribe*

Books, News, Parenting, Summer, , , , , , , , , ,