January Executive Function Intensive in NYC + 1:1 Offerings

For college students and soon-to-be college students based in NYC!

This intensive, two-day program will be in person in a small-group format and cover general planning, time management, study skills, reducing procrastination, accomplishing long-term assignments, routine building, self-care, and resilience. Dr. Josephson also offers individualized 1:1 support both in person and virtually. 

Please see the flyer below and learn more about Dr. Josephson’s practice here

Perfectionism and the College Application Process

Perfectionism and the College Application Process

Perfectionism and applying to college don’t mix! 

A quote from Angela Duckworth exemplifies precisely why:

Perfectionistic people work hard but unsustainably so. They often find themselves in the sapping zone of diminishing and inverse returns to their efforts.

We work with many students who have perfectionist tendencies. These students spend extreme amounts of time focusing on aspects of the college process that have little to no ROI. We see this in parents, too! 

There is no such thing as a perfect college application because there is no such thing as a perfect applicant. 

Our work also highlights another one of her sentiments: perfectionists tend to self-sabotage because they retreat when things get tough or they sense imminent “failure” instead of reaching out for help. This one always gets us because we exist to help. 

Perfectionists are world champions at self-sabotage. When things get tough, when it looks like failure is heading their way, the anticipated shame and embarrassment are so fierce that perfectionistic people are reluctant to put forth any further effort that might allow others to discover their shortcomings. So, they procrastinate or simply give up to ward off fears of failure.

Perfectionism doesn’t lead to success. It’s also exhausting. If you struggle with it, seek out help before you get too deep into your college app journey—students and parents! 

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Never Enough: When Achievement Culture Becomes Toxic-and What We Can Do About It

Never Enough: When Achievement Culture Becomes Toxic-and What We Can Do About It

A tough one to read as a college counselor. Nothing new here from where we sit, but these are still hard truths and a call to action. It’s on all of us—not just parents!

Never Enough: When Achievement Culture Becomes Toxic-and What We Can Do About It.

A must-read!

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Achievement v. Accomplishment

Achievement v. Accomplishment

A great article to read and reread. Let this one sink in…

“Achievement is the completion of the task imposed from outside — the reward often being a path to the next achievement.

Accomplishment is the end point of an engulfing activity we’ve chosen, whose reward is the sudden rush of fulfillment, the sense of happiness that rises uniquely from absorption in a thing outside ourselves.”

The process of applying to college feels overly-achievement oriented, when in fact, it’s applications that highlight both that tend to be the most compelling.

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From a teen’s perspective: dealing with college admission stress

From a teen’s perspective: dealing with college admission stress

I came across an article by a student at Menlo Atherton (Dylan Lanier) that I wanted to share. You can access it here or read it below. 

I’m 20+ years out from college (and a low-stress application process), but my days are wrapped up in this world. When I think about college admissions today compared to even a few years ago, the #1 thing that stands out is how much more stressful it is for everyone involved. The number of students (and almost always, they are excellent top students) we see presenting mental health red flags is far too high.  

Where you go to college is…simply where you go to college. It’s four years of exploration, developing independence, and figuring it out. I hope both students and parents who are in or approaching this process can keep in mind that it’s a four-year stop on a long journey; it’s not the end game, and it’s not an ultimate goal. 

It’s that time of year again: No, not Pisces season. College acceptance — and rejection — season.

At M-A, the energy is electric, and not always in the best way. Seniors are on pins-and-needles waiting for letters to come back from the colleges they applied to a few months back. Juniors, on the other hand, are already stressing about their own applications to come next year.

While I recognize the importance of higher education, I think that too many of us compromise our mental health by spending countless hours worrying about college. It’s important to enforce practices in your daily life that help you decompress. Not only will you be a happier and healthier person, but you will perform better in all areas of your life. You can’t crush that AP Lit test if you’re only thinking about college! So, here are some of the ways I find most effective to de-stress:

1. Time Away: Find a relaxing activity you truly enjoy, be it hiking, painting, or reading on the couch. Set a designated time for yourself each day or week to spend solely on that recreation. I recommend choosing a hobby that requires a lot of focus in order to prevent your mind from wandering back to college.

2. Community: Your family and friends are great resources for support and distraction. Go out to dinner, watch a movie, or just talk about everything under the sun other than college. Connecting with others will not only lift your spirits but place your attention on them instead of your own worries.

3. New Goals: The reason college admissions are so stressful is that we view them as the ultimate goal. Therefore, pick new, smaller goals that can help you satiate that need for accomplishment, such as learning an instrument or holding a bake sale for a local charity.

4. Mindfulness: Look, when I first tried meditation, I was just as skeptical about its benefits. But I can confidently say that it has considerably lowered my stress level and allowed me to reflect on my life without the typical emotional responses. I recommend downloading an app like Calm or finding guided mindfulness meditations on YouTube to help you commit to and get the most out of the practice.

Acknowledging your college stress and recognizing the negativity it brings into your life is the most important step. Understand how it’s impacting your daily life and respond accordingly with specific, customized strategies to limit those effects.

However you choose to de-stress, be sure to fully commit to the process. Take it from a fellow student: Nothing is more important than your well-being, and taking concrete steps to improve it will yield exponential benefits. Best of luck in your collegiate endeavors and your journey to de-stress!

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How can I support you? A teen mental health primer

How can I support you? A teen mental health primer

It’s essential for parents and other family members to support teens by learning about common mental health conditions, understanding the signs that their teen might be experiencing a mental health issue, and familiarizing themselves with ways to begin a conversation with a teen who might be struggling. Making Caring Common assembled a primer to help parents and other family members understand possible indicators and begin these important conversations. You can find it here.

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Choices and Options: A Blueprint for College Admission for Everyone

Choices and Options: A Blueprint for College Admission for Everyone

Everyone should read the Georgia Tech admissions blog. 

Read rick Clark’s recent post here. For juniors, this section for seniors is important. Read it now, and read it again this summer when you finalize your college list. 

Be reminded that your chances of being admitted to a school with an admit rate below 20% do not go up 20% by applying to 20% more of those schools. Trade out “dream school” for IRL colleges. Apply to a group of schools (you figure out the number but generally more than 2 and less than 10) where you know you will be thrilled to get in and excited to go.*

*and we might add: where you can actually get in! Thanks always, Georgia Tech, for keeping it real! 

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Sophomores and Juniors: College Planning Starts Now!

Sophomores and Juniors: College Planning Starts Now!

College counseling is not a program that you simply sign up for and “work”—it’s a relationship and a process that takes place over an extended period of time.

The majority of our work with students—which includes academic planning, narrative and extracurricular development (your academic and EC “story” for college), a strategic college list, and completing essays, app data, and an extended resume—starts in 10th or early in 11th grade.

Juniors (and some soph’s) can:

  • Start to prep for standardized exams. Don’t wait until spring of your junior year or later to begin prep. We have a small list of tutors who we can highly recommend; don’t leave who you work with up to chance.
  • Meet with your school guidance counselor. They will write one of your letters of recommendation for college, and the letter will be much more personal if you know each other.
  • Build your story! Have you been heavily involved with any of your extracurricular activities (other than sports, which can’t major in!!!)? Look for impact and leadership opportunities. More importantly, does your resume point toward a major or intellectual interest? What is your story, and how is it told on your resume?
  • Plan your summer wisely. You’ll want to use this summer to build your resume and make sure it’s pointed toward your intended major.
  • Visit the websites of schools you are interested in. Explore the admission and academic pages, start to attend virtual offerings and track your contact with schools. It should be exciting to kick your college research into higher gear. Don’t forget to connect with your reps, too.

Fill out the contact form to schedule a consult and find out how we can support you in your college planning and application process.

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Dear Therapist: My Mom Won’t Stop Pressuring Me to Get Better Grades

Dear Therapist: My Mom Won’t Stop Pressuring Me to Get Better Grades

It is hard to truly give students the freedom to be who they are when colleges are forcing them into little boxes on applications and asking them very clearly: are you who we want you to be? 

Lori Gottlieb’s recent Dear Therapist is a good one for anyone approaching the college application and planning process. 

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Focus on the next fours years, not the last.

Focus on the next fours years, not the last.

The class of 2022 is resilient. They’ve weathered a pandemic, the confusion of test-optional, okay at best online schooling—the list goes on. 

Great read in Charter by S. Mitra Kalita. “Bottom line: You’re going to be fine. Let’s focus on the next fours years, not the last!”

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