Preventing self-sabotage while applying to college

Preventing self-sabotage while applying to college

James Gross, a professor of psychology and expert on emotion regulation at Stanford University, talks about what parents can do to help teenagers avoid self-sabotage. We love the idea of weekly check-ins, especially for seniors who are in the thick of juggling academics with applying to college. Even the students who say “they’ve got it” can benefit from some extra parental touch points and cheerleading.

Here are a few highlights:

Teenagers sometimes resist input from mom or dad about how to live their lives. Do teens need parents?
Absolutely. A teenager might say, “I’d like to get great grades this term.” But then their behavior isn’t aligned with that. In fact, you may notice they’re doing the opposite of what they need to do to get great grades. Instead of studying, they’re playing video games and texting. They’re staying up too late instead of getting enough sleep. In other words, teenagers, like the rest of us, sometimes self-sabotage: They say they want one thing, but their behavior points in a completely different direction.

What can parents do to help teenagers avoid self-sabotage?
As parents, we can see what’s going on in their lives from a place of clarity. That perspective can be really helpful. For instance, on their own, without you, your son or daughter may not do so well at finding the balance between having fun with their friends, on the one hand, versus studying and being productive on the other. 

What are some dos and don’ts for parents trying to help their teenagers achieve their goals? 
Don’t get into antagonistic interactions right after school. Instead, pay attention to your own emotions and notice when you’re most likely to be patient and helpful rather than impatient and snappy. 

Don’t try to talk about homework or whatever else you know should get done when your kid is telling you how their day went. You’re missing the opportunity for them to open up and really connect with you, maybe tell you about something that they’re upset about. If they’re trying to do that, and you say, “Tell me about your homework,” they’ll think, “Wow, I feel totally unheard. Dad’s getting on my case without even listening to me.” 

Do make yourself available. For instance, I literally make sure my home office door is open when my kids come home. An open door tells them I can be interrupted. 

What if my kids never bring up their problems?
One practice that my wife and I found to be helpful was to have regularly scheduled check-ins with each of our kids once or twice a week. Basically, we would just have a conversation about whatever was on their minds, whether it was relationships with their siblings or what was going on in school or with their extracurriculars. We’d build an agenda together, like you would for any business meeting. 

Let’s say I saw in the school portal that my kid didn’t do well on a math test. My wife and I might say, “Hey, are there some things on your mind that you want to check in about? From our side, it would be really nice to check in on how things are going in math. Our sense is, that hasn’t been the easiest thing for you these past few weeks.” 

And then, of course, we really listened. The nice thing about scheduled check-ins is that you’re talking about issues before they become a crisis. As a parent, you want to build routines for talking with your kids about what matters to them and to you.

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Best Summer Programs for High School Students: Engineering

Best Summer Programs for High School Students: Engineering

The following are some of our favorites for students interested in exploring engineering.

Lincoln Laboratory Radar Introduction for Student Engineers (LLRISE)

The LLRISE program is a two-week summer institute for rising seniors that teaches students how to build small radar systems. The project-based enrichment program challenges students to build a Doppler and range radar.

COSMOS UCSDUS IrvineUC Santa CruzUC Davis

The COSMOS program is a four-week residential program designed by the UC schools. Each campus focuses on different subject areas, all admitting their own “cluster” of students. The courses are taught by UC faculty and researchers. Students choose from nine different clusters, which include engineering design, biodiesel from renewable sources, tissue engineering and regenerative medicine, and more.

MIT Beaver Works Summer Institute

The MIT Beaver Works Summer Institute (BWSI) is a rigorous, world-class STEM program for talented students who will be entering their senior year in high school. The four-week program teaches STEM skills through project-based, workshop-style courses. BWSI began in 2016 with a single course offered to 46 students, a mix of local daytime students and out-of-state residential students. It is typically a 4-week residential program for rising high school seniors and the program is free. They also offer online courses.

National Institute of Standards and Technology (NIST) Summer High School Intern Program Research

NIST research is subdivided into six organizational NIST laboratories that conduct research in a wide variety of physical and engineering sciences. The labs respond to industry needs for measurement methods, tools, data, and technology. Six laboratories participate in the SHIP program.

Due to the multi-disciplinary nature of NIST’s research, students should look through the different websites above to discover a best-fit project area. The following information describes the types of research performed by each laboratory. See research projects done in previous years.

MIT Women’s Technology Program (WTP)

The MIT Women’s Technology Program (WTP) is a rigorous four-week summer academic experience to introduce high school students to engineering through hands-on classes, labs, and team-based projects in the summer after 11th grade. WTP is a women-focused, collaborative community aimed at empowering students from groups historically underrepresented and underserved in engineering. They especially encourage students to apply who will be the first family member to attend college, who come from high schools with limited access to STEM classes and activities, or who are African American, Hispanic, or Native American.

Minority Introduction to Engineering and Science (MITES)

The MITES program is a six-week-long residential program geared toward rising seniors from underrepresented or underserved communities. The program aims to provide the skills and knowledge necessary for pursuing a career in the STEM fields. Students take one math course, one life sciences course, one physics course, one humanities course and an elective course. Placement is determined by diagnostic tests that are administered to all students during the orientation period of the program.

AI Scholars

AI Scholars Live Online is a 10 session (25-hour) artificial intelligence bootcamp that exposes high school students to fundamental AI concepts and guides them to build a socially impactful project. Taught by a team of graduate students from Stanford, MIT, and more, students receive a personalized learning experience in small groups with a student-teacher ratio of 5:1.

HK Maker Lab, Columbia

The Hk Maker Lab is a summer engineering design program at Columbia Engineering that places high school juniors and seniors in pre-college, project-based courses with Columbia University faculty. This program is designed for students from backgrounds that are underrepresented in STEM and who have financial needs.

CATALYST Academy

CATALYST Academy is a one-week residential program for rising high school juniors and seniors from underrepresented backgrounds who desire to learn about engineering and careers within an interactive milieu.

Cooper Union Summer STEM

Summer STEM is an opportunity to try engineering for the first time or to dive deeper into engineering teamwork. Each 3- or 6-week class covers college-level topics and activities completed by The Cooper Union undergraduates in their first or second year or explores student and faculty research projects. Current high school students in grades 9, 10, 11 and 12 can apply.  This selective program encourages all curious, compassionate, and college-interested students to apply regardless of prior experience.

Manhattan College

The School of Engineering offers several programs throughout the year to introduce high school students to the field of engineering. Free or low cost.

Google Computer Science Institute (Summer Before COLLEGE!)

Google’s Computer Science Summer Institute (CSSI) is a three-week introduction to computer science (CS) for graduating high school seniors with a passion for technology — especially students from historically underrepresented groups in the field. CSSI is not your average summer camp. It’s an intensive, interactive, hands-on, and fun program that seeks to inspire the tech leaders and innovators of tomorrow by supporting the study of computer science, software engineering, and other closely related subjects. It is a 3-week program, and it is free.

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Best Summer Programs (+Other Extracurriculars) for High School Students: Business

Best Summer Programs (+Other Extracurriculars) for High School Students: Business

The following programs and other ECs are some of our favorites for students interested in business.

LEAD

Morgan Stanley JumpStart Scholars in Finance is a 5-month virtual, immersive learning experience designed to develop a pipeline of ambitious high-school seniors into the world of finance.

LEADing for Life GSLI REEX  is a residential program that will focus on developing a Pipeline of high-achieving, students (current high school juniors) by providing an immersive learning opportunity and preparation in Commercial Real Estate.

Fordham University, Various Programs

Young Women’s Business Institute (Kelley)

The Young Women’s Institute (free!) introduces young women to the college experience and business career opportunities. Students are selected from around the country to spend a week at Indiana University in Bloomington, Indiana. While at IU, students:

  • Participate in workshops with top Kelley School of Business faculty
  • Interact with Kelley alumni and current students
  • Prepare a real-world business case project
  • Build leadership and communication skills
  • Connect with like-minded women interested in business

TCU Investor Challenge

Are you a high school student entering your senior year? Apply for the TCU High School Investor Challenge®. [not yet updated for 2024; keep checking back at their site!]
The McCombs Summer High School Programs 
Free, six-day experiences focused on business and leadership that offer rising junior and senior high school students the chance to learn and interact with McCombs students, faculty, and corporate representatives. Outstanding African-American, Latino and Native American students, first-generation students, and students who have overcome social or economic hardship are strongly encouraged to apply. However, all students are welcome to apply.
Business Opportunities Summer Session (BOSS)
BOSS is a two-week in-person program held on Penn State’s University Park campus for high school students interested in pursuing a business education in college. It’s an opportunity for these students to take college prep and business fundamentals courses taught by Penn State faculty.  Sample schedule of what the two weeks would be like.
The University of Pennsylvania, Wharton
The Wharton School of the University of Pennsylvania hosts tons of paid programs and they are NOT posted here. Many of Penn’s past “selective” programs, like LBW, are now run by Summer Discovery and are not selective. We suggest these lower-cost and free options!

Wharton Global High School Investment CompetitionWharton Connect

Wharton Explore Business Mini-sites

Our Explore Business mini-sites are gateways to conversations, readings and activities that inspire high school students to think more deeply about issues affecting business and society. Dig into these Wharton-powered learning opportunities wherever and whenever you want to explore timely and compelling topics. Our mini-sites include:

Understanding Your Money is a self-paced online course for high school students. This course offers an introduction to fundamental economic concepts, investing, and basic money management to help you make smarter financial decisions. In addition to online video lessons delivered by Wharton faculty, the course includes links to related readings, activities and glossary terms, as well as quizzes to test students on what they have learned.

Non-“Program” Ideas We Love

Get a job!!! Wait tables, scoop ice cream, clean pools, landscape, construction, clean changeovers at hotels, grab a paper route — not glamorous, not always fun, but highly valuable.

Khan Academy Modules

Free Online Classes from Top Colleges & Universities

JUV Consulting

  • Gain experience with prototype testing and feedback, give your opinions and perspectives on trends, be a part of potential focus groups, contribute to school outreach programs, and participate in brand ambassadorship opportunities. Learn more here.

Learn Bloomberg and Financial Modeling via Excel

Internships and Shadows

  • Just about anything goes here, but getting one on your own might be preferred by some schools over shadowing a parent; getting a real job instead can also help balance this out!

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Best Summer Programs for High School Students: Science Research

Best Summer Programs for High School Students: Science Research

The following programs are some of our favorites for students interested in science/science research.

The Air Force Research Laboratory (AFRL) Scholars Program

The Air Force Research Laboratory (AFRL) Scholars Program offers stipend-paid internship opportunities for undergraduate and graduate-level university students pursuing STEM degrees, as well as upper-level high school students; select locations also offer internships to university students pursuing education-related degrees and K–12 professional educators. The selected interns gain valuable hands-on experiences working with full-time AFRL scientists and engineers on cutting-edge research and technology and are able to contribute to unique, research-based projects.

Anson L. Clark Scholars Program

Through this seven-week, intensive research program, 12 juniors and seniors will have the opportunity to participate in hands-on research in a variety of areas at Texas Tech University with faculty. Scholars receive room and board, and at the successful completion of a project report, they will earn a $750 stipend. In addition to research, scholars will participate in activities, seminars, and field trips.

Garcia Program, Stony Brook University

This is an intensive seven-week program for gifted high school students which combines formal instruction with independent research and allows students to design original research projects with guidance from Garcia Center faculty, students, and staff. Students can continue during the academic year in the Mentor Program, which allows them to plan a research schedule with a faculty mentor throughout the year. Pre-arranged transportation and class schedules are coordinated with local school boards to enable students from a large geographical area to enroll in the program. Almost three hundred high school students have participated in this program since its inception.

Research Science Institute, Massachusetts Institute of Technology

Each summer, 80 of the world’s most accomplished high school students gather at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology (MIT) for the Research Science Institute (RSI). RSI is the first cost-free to students, summer science & engineering program to combine on-campus coursework in scientific theory with off-campus work in science and technology research. Participants experience the entire research cycle from start to finish. They read the most current literature in their field, draft and execute a detailed research plan, and deliver conference-style oral and written reports on their findings. RSI scholars first participate in a week of intensive STEM classes with accomplished professors. The heart of RSI is the five-week research internship where students conduct individual projects under the tutelage of mentors who are experienced scientists and researchers. During the final week of RSI, students prepare written and oral presentations on their research projects.

NASA & CalTech Jet Propulsion Lab

NASA Office of STEM Engagement (OSTEM) paid internships allow high school and college-level students to contribute to agency projects under the guidance of a NASA mentor.

COSMOS, University of California (Multiple Campuses)

COSMOS is an intensive four-week summer residential program for students who have demonstrated an aptitude for academic and professional careers in science, technology, engineering and mathematics (STEM) subjects. Talented and motivated students completing grades 8-12 have the opportunity to work with renowned faculty, researchers and scientists in state-of-the-art facilities while exploring advanced STEM topics far beyond the courses usually offered in California high schools. Through challenging curricula that are both hands-on and lab intensive, COSMOS fosters its students’ interests, skills, and awareness of educational and career options in STEM fields.

Simons Summer Research Program, Stony Brook University

Established in 1984 as an outreach program for local high school students, the Simons Summer Research program now attracts applicants from all across the country to the Stony Brook campus: Simons Fellows are matched with Stony Brook faculty mentors, join a research group or team, and assume responsibility for a project. The Simons Fellows conclude their apprenticeship by producing a written research abstract and a research poster. In addition to learning valuable techniques and experiencing life at a major research university, Simons Fellows attend weekly faculty research talks and participate in special workshops, tours and events. At the closing poster symposium, students are presented with a $1,000 stipend award. Learn more here.

The Summer Science Program

SSP is not a “camp.” It is a unique immersion experience with a strong culture that has evolved over more than half a century. It is talented young people discovering their limits, then overcoming them through collaboration. It is the shock of not being the smartest person in the room, followed by the joy of realizing that’s not a problem, it’s an opportunity. In high school, teenagers learn about science. At SSP, they do science. That’s different! SSP is research, not coursework. Participants collaborate in teams of three. Everyone learns from – and teaches – everyone else.

Stanford SIMR

SIMR is an 8-week summer internship program open to high school juniors and seniors. The program consists of hands-on research under the direct guidance of a one-on-one mentor at a top class lab within the Institutes of Medicine at Stanford University as well as select departments.  Students applying to the program can choose from our eight areas of research (institutes). After being accepted, they are then assigned to a specific institute based on their choices.

Non-“Program” Ideas We Love

Khan Academy Modules

Free Online Classes from Top Colleges & Universities

Lab Internship/Shadow

  • Cold email! Ask your HS science teachers to help you connect with college labs!

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Best Summer Programs for High School Students: Real Estate

Best Summer Programs for High School Students: Real Estate

The following are some of our favorites for students interested in real estate.

The Fordham Real Estate Institute

This summer, get a behind-the-scenes look at the many facets of the New York City real estate industry and learn what it takes to succeed in this fast-paced, high-income field. The Fordham Real Estate Institute offers high school students the opportunity to learn how real estate—the built environment in which we all live, work, and play—is designed, constructed, and developed. Through a mix of live lectures, hands-on exercises, and examinations of prominent New York City properties, students gain a unique perspective into the numerous college study and career options that the field of real estate offers. All courses are taught by experienced industry professionals from Fordham’s Real Estate Institute.

Real Estate NYC: From Design to Development Class (NYU)

Over one-third of the world’s wealth is invested in real estate, and more than nine million people in the United States work in the real estate industry. What goes on behind the scenes? What makes New York City among the most expensive real estate markets in the world? How does one get started in the field? Learn from top industry professionals during this one-week course offered by the NYU School of Professional Studies Schack Institute of Real Estate, one of the largest and most prestigious educational entities dedicated to the real estate and construction industries in the United States. Delve into all aspects of the real estate development process, and gain an understanding of the procedures, issues, and complexities that come into play in the development of real estate. Explore how real estate projects are conceived, designed, valued, financed, constructed, and managed. By week’s end, you will have gained an in-depth understanding of the phases of real estate development and the role that each sector of the industry plays in the process. Topics to be covered include the history of real estate design and development, the varying roles of members of the development team (architect, engineer, builder/CM, attorney), real estate underwriting metrics, valuation, project feasibility, design phase/construction phase considerations, sustainability measurements, and property and asset management.

NAIOP Commercial Real Estate High School Internship Program

The path to increased diversity in the commercial real estate industry begins with introducing teens to CRE prior to entering college. Students have the opportunity to explore a variety of careers in real estate, such as architecture, development, investment, construction, brokerage, and urban planning, through the lens of a case study and real estate–focused activities. Students gain a deeper understanding of key concepts in real estate by exploring these topics with Drexel University professors, industry mentors, and high-level corporate executives. The NAIOP-Drexel Summer Real Estate program features several team building, college readiness, and enrichment events on Drexel’s campus and throughout the city, including site visits to high-profile locations such as FMC and Comcast.

Online courses (free)

https://www.coursera.org/professional-certificates/keller-williams-real-estate-agent 

https://www.coursera.org/learn/the-principles-of-real-estate

https://www.coursera.org/learn/wharton-ai-application-insurtech-real-estate-technology

https://www.coursera.org/projects/deep-learning-for-real-estate-price-prediction

Online courses (not free)

Real Estate Finance (For Beginners)

Basic Real Estate Finance Course

Introduction To Real Estate Finance & Investing

Shadowing someone who works in real estate is also a great option; reach out about internships via LinkedIn. (yes, you can and should be on LinkedIn in high school!)

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Achievement v. Accomplishment

Achievement v. Accomplishment

A great article to read and reread. Let this one sink in…

“Achievement is the completion of the task imposed from outside — the reward often being a path to the next achievement.

Accomplishment is the end point of an engulfing activity we’ve chosen, whose reward is the sudden rush of fulfillment, the sense of happiness that rises uniquely from absorption in a thing outside ourselves.”

The process of applying to college feels overly-achievement oriented, when in fact, it’s applications that highlight both that tend to be the most compelling.

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The Most Common Graduation Advice Tends to Backfire

The Most Common Graduation Advice Tends to Backfire

Following your passions can be a bad idea. 

Sharing a great read as graduation month comes to a close and high school juniors and sophomores kick the college process into a higher gear.

Identifying potential passions means having the confidence to pursue what you truly enjoy or even what you think you might enjoy—sometimes, you have to just go with your gut! It also helps to explore interests in which you have some natural affinity but keep in mind that skills can be developed, it just takes time. Don’t pick an academic interest based on what you think society expects or, worse, what you think your parents want you to pursue. 

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Summer 2022 & Pre-College Programs

Summer 2022 & Pre-College Programs

Summer program apps are opening up for summer 2022! 

Did you know that Columbia’s largest high school program raked in $20 million during the pandemic? 

If you are targeting highly selective/highly rejective schools, we’ve noticed they’d rather see a rising senior undertake something a bit more self-directed. For underclassmen, sometimes paid programs are a good idea; it depends on the student and their goals. 

It can be hard to find summer programs, and CU’s programs—like Harvard, Georgetown, Penn, and Brown—always rank high in Google searches and have a vast array of curricular offerings, formats, and timelines. They simply just work for many families who can afford them because they are easy! But, easy is not always best…

Posting this article with the hope that folks will think beyond these programs, especially if they are rising seniors, or plan to target highly selective (top 30 or so) schools. There is more you can do, for less! 

But BMC, you’ve posted some of these programs in the past—what gives? Yes, we do post about paid summer programs but provide information on those that are free, low-cost, or those that offer substantial scholarships. For example (we will be updating these in the coming months, too!):

Best Summer Programs for High School Students: Computer Science

Best Summer Programs for High School Students: Leadership

Best Summer Programs for High School Students: Sports/Sport Management

Best Summer Programs for High School Students: Engineering

Best Summer Programs for High School Students: Business

Summer Programs for Female Identifying High School Students

Annual Camp Pride Summer Leadership Academy

Always an option, always free: Pursue a passion or purpose project. Create an independent study with your favorite teachers. Cold call/mail profs until you find your way into a lab. Max out edX and Coursera

There’s also no need to wait until summer to engage in and explore your interests. Start now!

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Sophomores and Juniors: Independent Study

Sophomores and Juniors: Independent Study

COVID is still hindering in-person learning, forcing clubs to meet online (if not canceling them outright), and may even throw a wrench in in-person educational and extracurricular planning for the spring and summer. A primary focus of our work with 10th and 11th graders is extracurricular planning, and there’s one that is almost never dependent on needing to be anywhere in person: the independent study. 

Independent studies (IS) can be done anywhere and work with almost any area of interest, which is why in such uncertain times, they are our go-to EC. Like the “purpose” or “passion” projects many of our students undertake, the IS is a create your own educational opportunity, so there’s no one size fits all model to follow or template you can use to just plug and play. Below are some of the details we suggest thinking through if you are interested in conceptualizing an IS.

Who

The IS requires the student to have an area of interest that they want to explore (or explore more), as well as the time, energy, and foresight to plan it on their own. However, students may want to seek out support from a teacher at their high school or a mentor from outside of school if they desire to formalize it or have some guidance or check-ins along the way. 

What

Anything goes! But we suggest an area of academic interest related to what you may pursue in college. It might be a new topic, or it might be an extension of a topic you have already researched. The bottom line is, it should 1) be a topic/area you choose because you will need to be into it to make the work happen on your own and 2) if possible, it should work with your academic narrative (the academic story that unfolds in your college apps). 

Where

Planning the IS as a remote activity is a good call given the uncertainties around COVID. Doing so also provides the flexibility to add on other activities/formal programming or have time for a job if that suits you while still working on the IS, as well as plan something like travel (college visits?) if that becomes reality again! 

When

Winter break or early in the new year is the perfect time for students to start planning their independent study. As for an ideal start time? Many juniors are busy with testing so we suggest it as a summer activity, although students who may not have AP testing in May or who have finished or not yet started ACT/SAT testing could realistically start in the spring if their courseload allowed. The classes that appear on your transcript will always be the most important to colleges, so you don’t want your IS to get in the way of excelling in those courses. 

Why

Beyond how the restrictions that might be in place around COVID make it an ideal activity, an independent study helps demonstrate to colleges your commitment to learning, your intellectual focus and curiosity, and that you are a self-directed learner interested in charting your own course and not limiting yourself to what you can take in school (or afford to take outside of it). 

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Why B Students Make Great Leaders

Why B Students Make Great Leaders

As a solid B student myself in high school, I love articles that normalize B’s. As a college counselor, of course I have to be transparent about the A expectation of top colleges and universities. However, many of my B students have gone on to do great things in college and in life—no Ivy-league or top-30 school required.

Two of my favorite takeaways from this old-ish article that I have seen be true for some of my favorite B students:

  • Leading rarely has anything to do with pure intellect alone.
  • B students flourish by using a combination of good-enough mental horsepower with a kind of emotional intelligence that gives them the ability to relate to people.

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