Book Recommendations from IECA Members

Recently, some fellow IECA members sent around a compilation of books, and I want to share them. I have read many of these books, and suggest students and parents take a look! Enjoy!

Helping Teenagers & Parents Deal with the Pressures and Stress of the High School Years:

  • How To Be a High School Superstar by Cal Newport
  • College Admissions Together: It Takes a Family by Steven Roy Goodman & Andrea Leiman
  • Where You Go Is Not Who You’ll Be by Frank Bruni
  • You Are Not Special: …..And Other Encouragements by David McCullough
  • Brainstorm: The Power and Purpose of the Teenage Brain by Daniel Siegel
  • Your Defiant Child: Eight Steps to Better Behavior by Russell Barkley
  • Parenting with Love and Logic by F. & J. Fay Cline
  • Parenting Teens with Love and Logic: Preparing Adolescents for Responsible Adulthood by F. & J. Fay Cline
  • The Seven Habits of Highly Effective Families by S. Covey
  • Parenting Teenagers: Systematic Training for Effective Parenting by D. Dinkmeyer & G. McKay
  • Mindset: The New Psychology of Success by Carol Dweck
  • How to Talk So Kids Will Listen and Listen So Kids Will Talk by A. Faber & E. Mazlish
  • Building Resilience in Children and Teens: Giving Kids Roots & Wings by M. Kenneth & R. Ginsburg
  • Raising Self-Reliant Children in a Self-Indulgent World: Seven Building Blocks for Developing Capable Young People, by S. Glenn & J. Nelson
  • Boys and Girls Learn Differently: A Guide for Teachers and Parents by Michael Gurian
  • The Wonder of Girls by Michael Gurian
  • The Wonder of Boys by Michael Gurian
  • Second Shelter: Family Strategies for Navigating Therapeutic Boarding Schools and Residential Treatment Centers by R. Haid & E. Donnelly
  • Attachment-Focused Parenting: Effective Strategies to Care for Children by Daniel Hughes
  • The Parent Playbook by Russell Hyken
  • Parenting the Hurt Child: Helping Adoptive Families Heal and Grow by G. Keck & R. Kupecky
  • Unconditional Parenting: Moving from Rewards and Punishment to Love and Reason by Alfie Kohn
  • The Price of Privilege: How Parental Pressure and Material Advantage are Creating a Generation of Disconnected and Unhappy Kids by Madeline Levine
  • How to Raise an Adult: Break Free of the Overparenting Trap and Prepare Your Kid for Success by Julie Lythcott-Haims
  • Teens in Turmoil: A Path to Change for Parents, Adolescents and their Families by C. Maxym & L. York
  • An Unchanged Mind: The Problem with Immaturity in Adolescence by John McKinnon
  • To Change a Mind: Parenting to Promote Maturity in Teenagers by John McKinnon
  • When Parents Love Too Much: Freeing Parents & Children to Live Their Own Lives by M. Meyerson & L. Ashner
  • The Blessings of a Skinned Knee: Using Jewish Teachings to Raise Self-Reliant Children by Wendy Mogel
  • Blessing of a B Minus: Using Jewish Teachings to Raise Resilient Teenagers by Wendy Mogel
  • Positive Discipline for Teenagers: Empowering Teens and Yourself through Kind and Firm Parenting by J. Nelson & L. Lott
  • Crucial Conversations: Tools for Talking When Stakes are High by K. Patterson
  • Real Boys: Rescuing Our Sons from Myths of Boyhood by William Pollack
  • College that Change Lives: 40 Schools that Will Change the Way You Think About College by Laren Pope
  • Power and Compassion: Working with Difficult Adolescents and Abused Parents by Jerome Price
  • The Journey of the Heroic Parent: Your Child’s Struggle and the Road Home by Brad Reedy
  • The Overachievers: The Secret Lives of Driven Kids by Alexandra Robbins
  • Raising NLD Superstars: What Families with Nonverbal Learning Disabilities Need to Know About Nurturing Confident, Competent Kids by Marcia Rubinstein
  • Boys Themselves by Michael Ruhlman
  • The Good Enough Child: How to Have an Imperfect Family and Be Perfectly Satisfied by Brad Sachs
  • The Good Enough Teen: Rising Adolescents with Love and Acceptance (Despite How Impossible They can Be) by Brad Sachs
  • Why Gender Matters: What Parents and Teachers Need to Know about the Emerging Science of Sex Differences by Leonard Sax
  • Boys Adrift: The Five Factors Driving the Growing Epidemic of Unmotivated Boys and Underachieving Young Men by Leonard Sax
  • Girls on the Edge by Leonard Sax
  • Parenting Your Out of Control Teenager: 7 Steps to Reestablish Authority and Reclaim Love by Scott Sells
  • Parenting from the Inside Out: 10th Anniversary Edition: How a Self-Understanding Can Help you Raise Children by D.J. Siegel & M. Hartzell
  • Not By Chance Tim Thayne
  • How Children Succeed: Grit, Curiosity, and the Hidden Power of Character by Paul Tough
  • The Parents We Mean to Be: How Well-Intentioned Adults Undermine Children’s Moral and Emotional Development by Richard Weissbourd
  • Parenting Your ADD Child: A No-Nonsense Guide for Nurturing Self-Reliance and Cooperation by Craig Weiner

The Transition from High School to College:

  • For Students:
    • The Naked Roommate: And 107 Other Issues You Might Run Into in College by Harlan Cohen
  • For Parents:
    • Letting Go by Karen Coburn
    • When Your Kids Go To College – A Parent’s Survival Guide by Carol Barkin
    • Almost Grown – Launching Your Child From High School To College by Patricia Pasick
    • Emptying the Nest: Launching Your Young Adult Toward Success and Self-Reliance by Brad Sachs
    • The Naked Roommate: For Parents Only: A Parent’s Guide to the New College Experience by Harlan Cohen

Susan Cain Episode 8 – Quiet at College

Susan Cain’s podcast is fire. As a self-proclaimed introvert and somewhat quiet person myself, I liked Episode 8: Quiet at College. I mean, I enjoyed them all, but given my role as a college counselor, #8 was particularly ear-catching.

It’s no secret that getting accepted to your dream college or university takes a lot more than good grades. What are the best ways for introverts to prepare for college and adjust to campus life? Susan Cain talks with students and university advisors about how to help introverted students find the right school environment that will help them thrive.

Guests include Lisa Kaenzig, Associate Dean at William Smith College; college advisor Steve LeMenager; and Jake Millman, college freshman and Quiet Diarist.

Disclaimer, I am a total Susan Cain fan-girl. I not-so-secretly would love to talk all things education and parenting with her 🙂

Check it out! #QuietPodcast

College Admissions Summer Reading

Brennan Barnard, Director of College Counseling at The Derryfield School in Manchester, New Hampshire, annually asks college admissions deans and high school counselors to send him recommendations of books that are “great” summer reads. You can see last year’s list here; the 2014 list here, the 2013 list here in the New York Times, and the 2016 list, below. Some solid reads on this list, and many that I have read!

For Parents:

“Untangled: Guiding Teenage Girls through the Seven Transitions into Adulthood” by Lisa Damour
Recommended by: Sally Diehl, Director of College Counseling, Roland Park Country School, MD

“Far From the Tree: Parents, Children and the Search for Identity” by Andrew Solomon
Recommended by: Suzi Nam Director of College Counseling, Germantown Friends School, PA

“Pressured Parents, Stressed Out Kids” by Wendy S. Grolnick, Ph.D. and Kathy Seal
Recommended by: Beth Ann Burkmar, The Hun School of Princeton, NJ

“Our Kids: The American Dream in Crisis” by Robert D. Putnam
Recommended by: Carrie Brodsky, Associate Director of College Counseling, Westtown School, PA

“Age of Opportunity: Lessons from the New Science of Adolescence” by Laurence Steinberg
Recommended by: Amelia Johnson, Assoc. Dir. of College Counseling, Baylor School, TN

“American Girls: Social Media and the Secret Lives of Teenagers” by Nancy Jo Sales
Recommended by: Meg Scott, Associate Director of College Counseling, The Agnes Irwin School, PA

“The Teenage Brain: A Neuroscientist’s Survival Guide to Raising Adolescents and Young Adults” by Frances E. Jensen
Recommended by: Peter Jennings, Director of College Counseling, Concord Academy, MA

“How to Raise an Adult: Break Free of the Overparenting Trap and Prepare Your Kid for Success” by Julie Lythcott-Haims
Recommended by: Debra Shaver, Dean of Admission, Smith College, MA

“The Curse of the Good Girl: Raising Authentic Girls with Courage and Confidence” by Rachel Simmons
Recommended by: Debra Shaver, Dean of Admission, Smith College, MA

“The End of American Childhood” by Paula S. Fass
Recommended by: Susan Zarwell, Director of College Counseling. University School of Milwaukee, WI

“The Gift of Failure” by Jessica Lahey
Recommended by: Jed Stuart, Associate Director of Admissions, The Gunnery, CT

“Untangled: Guiding Teenage Girls Through The Seven Transitions Into Adulthood” by Lisa Damour, Ph.D.
Recommended by: Scott Orvis, Director of College Counseling, Saint Mary’s School, NC

 

Education-related Reads:

“Heroic Leadership” by Chris Lowney
Recommended by: Mike Sexton, Vice President for Enrollment Management, Santa Clara University, CA

“The Naked Roommate: And 107 Other Issues You Might Run Into in College” by Harlan Cohen
Recommended by: Bruce Berk, Associate Director of College Counseling, The Derryfield School, NH

“The Mother Tongue: English and How it Got that Way” by Bill Bryson
Recommended by: Michael Stefanowicz, Assistant Director of Admission, Saint Michael’s College, VT

“Class and Campus Life” by Elizabeth M. Lee
Recommended by: Jenni Pfeiffer, Associate Director of College Counseling, Rye Country Day School, NY

“Creating a Class” by Mitchell Stevens
Recommended by: Jenni Pfeiffer, Associate Director of College Counseling, Rye Country Day School, NY

“Where Everybody Looks Like Me: At the Crossroads of America’s Black Colleges and Culture” by Ron Stodghill
Recommended by: Jennifer Beros, Director of College Counseling, University School, OH

“The Paradox of Choice: Why More is Less” by Barry Schwartz
Recommended by: Carrie Horsey, Associate Director of College Counseling, Head-Royce School, CA

“U Chic, The College Girl’s Guide to Everything” by Christie Garton
Recommended by: Barbara Conner, Director of College Counseling, Foxcroft School, VA

“Ungifted: Intelligence Redefined: The truth about talent, practice, creativity, and the many paths to greatness” by Scott Barry Kaufman
Recommended by: Susan Tree, Director of College Counseling, Westtown School, PA

“The Boys in the Boat: Nine Americans and Their Epic Quest for Gold at the 1936 Berlin Olympics” by Daniel James Brown
Recommended by: Alice Cotti, Director of College Counseling and 11th/12th Grade Dean, Polytechnic School, CA

“There Is Life After College: What Parents and Students Should Know About Navigating School to Prepare for the Jobs of Tomorrow” by Jeffrey J. Selingo
Recommended by: Bernadette Condesso, Director of College Counseling, Poughkeepsie Day School, NY

“Other People’s Children: Cultural Conflict in the Classroom” by Lisa Delpit
Recommended by: Liz Pleshette, Director of College Counseling, Latin School of Chicago, IL

“Remaking College: Innovation and the Liberal Arts” by Edited by: Rebecca Chopp, Susan Frost, Daniel H. Weiss
Recommended by: Karen Bartlett, Assistant Director of Admissions, Middlebury College

 

For Fun and Thought:

“The Art of Fielding” by Chad Harbach
Recommended by: Eric Ahlstrand, Assistant Director of Admission, Furman University, SC

“Americanah” by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie
Recommended by: Chemeli Kipkorir, Director of University Guidance, African Leadership Academy

“Self and Soul: A Defense of Ideals” by Mark Edmundson
Recommended by: Matt Struckmeyer, Director of College Counseling, Laguna Blanca School, CA

“Between the World and Me” by Ta-Nehisi Coates
Recommended by: Elizabeth Jamett, Director of College Guidance, University Liggett School, MI

“Where Am I Wearing?” by Kelsey Timmerman
Recommended by: Tracy Stockard, Director of College Counseling Gilmour Academy, OH

“Peak: Secrets from the New Science of Expertise” by Andres Ericson and Robert Pool
Recommended by: David Bonner, Dean, King Low Heywood Thomas School, CT

“It’s Kind of a Funny Story” by Ned Vizzini
Recommended by: Moira McKinnon, Director of College Counseling, Berwick Academy, ME

“Life on Purpose: How Living for What Matters Most Changes Everything” by Victor J. Strecher
Recommended by: Mr. Nicholas Kourabas, Director of College Counseling, Solomon Schechter School of Westchester, NY

“Blindspot: Hidden Biases of Good People” by Mahzarin R. Banaji and Anthony G. Greenwald
Recommended by: Stephanie Balmer, Head of School, Harpeth Hall School, TN

“The Nightingale” by Kristin Hannah
Recommended by: Jody Sanford Sweeney, Associate Director of College Counseling, William Penn Charter School, PA

“Aristotle and Dante Discover the Secrets of the Universe” by Benjamin Alire Sáenz
Recommended by: Scott Herrmann-Keeling, Mary Institute & St. Louis Country Day School, MO

“Grit: the Power of Passion and Perseverance” by Angela Duckworth
Recommended by: Chadwick Fulton, Associate Director of College Counseling, St. Andrew’s Episcopal School, TX

“Just Mercy: A Story of Justice and Redemption” by Bryan Stevenson
Recommended by: Janelle Holmboe, Vice-President for Enrollment, Warren Wilson College, NC

“Being Mortal: Medicine and What Happens in the End” by Atul Gawande
Recommended by: Matthew DeGreeff, Director of College Counseling, Middlesex School, MA

“David and Goliath: Underdogs, Misfits, and the Art of Battling Giants” by Malcolm Gladwell
Recommended by: Ivar Moller, Director of North American Admissions, The University of St. Andrews, Scotland

“Creativity, Inc., Overcoming the Unseen Forces that Stand in the Way of True Inspiration” by Ed Catmull
Recommended by: Rhody Davis, Director of College Counseling, Viewpoint School, CA

“Callings: The Purpose and Passion of Work (A StoryCorps Book)” by Dave Isay
Recommended by: Mindy H. Rose, Director of College Counseling, Peddie School, NJ

“All the Light We Cannot See” by Anthony Doerr
Recommended by: Bruce Barton, Director of College Counseling, Holderness School, NH

“Straight Man” by Richard Russo
Recommended by: Corie McDermott-Fazzino, Director of College Counseling, Portsmouth Abbey School, RI

“City on Fire” by Garth Risk Hallberg
Recommended by: Carl Ahlgren, Director of College Counseling, Gilman School, MD

“The Wright Brothers” by David McCullough
Recommended by: J. Carey Thompson, Vice President for Enrollment and Communications/Dean of Admission, Rhodes College, TN

 

Full article by Valerie Strauss/Washington Post here.

Coalition Application Users Posted

CAAS Image

The Coalition for Access, Affordability and Success is unveiling a new college application this summer and has announced which of its members will be using it in the next admissions cycle and which are holding off a year. Fifty-eight will use the new application and 36 will not. The list may be found here.

The (58) schools planning to accept the Coalition application for 2016/2017 are:

American University
Amherst College
Bowdoin College
Bryn Mawr College
CalTech
Carleton College
Claremont McKenna College
Clemson University
Colgate University
College of the Holy Cross
College of William & Mary
Columbia University
Connecticut College
Davidson College
Denison University
Duke University
Emory University
Hamilton College
Harvard University
Indiana University – Bloomington
Johns Hopkins University
North Carolina State University at Raleigh
Northeastern University
Northwestern University
Ohio State University
Pennsylvania State University
Pomona College
Purdue University
Reed College
Rice University
Rutgers University – New Brunswick
St Olaf College
Stanford University
State University of New York – Binghamton University
State University of New York – College at Geneseo
Swarthmore College
Texas A&M University
Tufts University
Union College
University of Chicago
University of Connecticut
University of Florida
University of Iowa
University of Maryland – College Park
University of Minnesota – Twin Cities
University of Notre Dame
University of Pennsylvania
University of Pittsburgh
University of Rochester
University of South Carolina
University of Virginia
University of Washington
Vanderbilt University
Virginia Polytechnic Institute and State University
Wake Forest University
Washington University in St. Louis
Williams College
Yale University

The (36) additional member schools that will accept the Coalition application for 2017/2018 are:

Bates College
Brown University
Colby College
College of New Jersey
Colorado College
Cornell University
Dartmouth College
Florida State University
Franklin and Marshall College
Franklin W. Olin College of Engineering
Georgia Institute of Technology
Grinnell College
Haverford College
Illinois State University
James Madison University
Miami University – Ohio
Michigan State University
Middlebury College
Mount Holyoke College
Oberlin College
Princeton University
Ramapo College
Skidmore College
Smith College
State University of New York – University at Buffalo
University of Georgia
University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign
University of Mary Washington
University of Michigan
University of Missouri
University of New Hampshire
University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill
University of Vermont
Vassar College
Wellesley College
Wesleyan University

More Schools Added to The Common Application

Common-Application-Fix

So happy Indiana and Wisconsin will now be on the CA. It is always helpful to students (and counselors) to have one less school specific app to proofread. Big time-saver!

New Members of The Common Application

United States

Alvernia University
Antioch College
Baker University
Bard College at Simon’s Rock
Baylor University
Benedictine College
Benedictine University
Bowling Green State University-Main Campus
Carthage College
Concordia College at Moorhead
Concordia University Chicago
D’Youville College
Dean College
Eastern Kentucky University
Edgewood College
George Mason University
Goddard College
Hastings College
Indiana University-Bloomington
Keiser University Flagship Campus – West Palm Beach Florida
Massachusetts College of Art and Design
Middle Tennessee State University
North Park University
Northwest Nazarene University
Ohio University
Paul Smith’s College
St. Andrews University (NC)
Stephens College
The Culinary Institute of America (CA)
The Culinary Institute of America (NY)
The Culinary Institute of America (TX)
Touro College
University of Akron Main Campus
University of Alabama at Birmingham
University of Bridgeport
University of Wisconsin-Madison
Western Illinois University

International    

Birmingham City University
Bishop’s University
Doshisha University, The Institute for the Liberal Arts
IE University
Quest University Canada
Saint Louis University-Madrid
University of East Anglia
University of Hong Kong
University of Lincoln
University of Warwick
University of Worcester

College Planning Tips – Counselor Connection

I opted in to receive emails from the College Board via their Counselor Connection listserv. The newsletters (emails) typically include links to upcoming webinars and other online resources for high school counselors. Right now, I am in China, so only had time to skim the most recent email, but I saved it because the College Planning Tips section caught my attention. I was a bit surprised that the first set of tips was for students grades 6-8. I was also surprised to see them promoting both volunteer and summer enrichment activities, in addition to the use of Khan Academy.

I honestly wonder how many high school counselors are pushing any of these activities (service, summer enrichment, and pre-college planning) in grades 6-8. I fear many of my students (even those at elite private high schools in NYC) are not hearing much of this messaging or at least consistent messaging of this nature this early on (middle school). Some come to me with little or no summer enrichment activities related to academic interests, very light service history, and no knowledge of Khan Academy (a resource I am a fan of, but have no formal affiliation with). I guess they could be hearing it and just not acting on it?

I would love for more students to place an emphasis on service early on in their high school careers, as well as begin exploring their academic interests via summer enrichment programs and modules via Khan Academy. So, I support this message from the College Board and hope more high school counselors pass these resources along to their students and their student’s families.

So You’ve Been Waitlisted

waitlistpie1516b

 

Although getting admitted off of the waitlist can and does happen, please keep in mind the number of admits is very low. Some schools waitlist thousands of applicants, only to offer a few hundred spots (or 0, or 20, or 50) in their incoming class.

College Kickstart’s sample of waitlist statistics from 160 private and public institutions paints the following picture:

  • On average, 17 percent of students accepting a place on a waitlist were admitted
  • 58 percent of the schools admitted 10 percent or less of the students accepting a place on the waitlist last year
  • 41 percent of the schools admitted 5 percent or less
  • 12 percent admitted no one

They note there are several factors driving low admit rates, including the size of the waitlist (often very large), and how well a school anticipates its admissions yield—I agree.

So what can you do if you have been deferred or waitlisted?

  1. Write a waitlist letter. This letter should contain information updating the school on what you’ve been up to both inside and outside of the classroom since the time you applied. It should also be used to reiterate interest and a commitment to attend if applicable. *If you are not 100% committed to attending, do not say so in the letter.
  2. Have your guidance counselor call the admissions office and advocate for you. Ask them to back up what they say on the call in an email and ask them to provide additional information that supports your candidacy.
  3. Make sure updated grades/transcript are sent promptly.
  4. Consider one or more of the following:
    1. Visit the school and swing by admissions to reiterate interest. Sit in on a class, stay overnight, take advantage of any admissions events/programming you may not have during your initial application process.
    2. Obtain and have an extra letter of recommendation sent. This letter could be from a teacher, coach or someone else close to you who can speak to what you have to contribute to the university. *Side note on alumni letters­ and letters from well-known and or famous people. Many students ask if these are helpful to send, and the answer is no, they are not unless the person really knows you. If you think that a big name vouching for you will help, it generally doesn’t as a stand-alone factor, and officers can see through these often brief and less than meaningful notes.

Again, getting admitted off of the waitlist can happen, but it is a wise idea to get excited about the schools where you were admitted and focus on choosing which one will be the best place for you to spend the next four years!

Stanford Admit Rate Drops to Zero Percent

An early April Fools’ Day article by Frank Bruni, or a glimpse into our impending future? A hilarious yet sad read but thought-provoking and yet another reminder that we need to take these outcomes with a grain of salt.  One of my favorite bits:

“On campuses from coast to coast, there was soul searching about ways in which colleges might be unintentionally deterring prospective applicants. Were the applications themselves too laborious? Brown may give next year’s aspirants the option of submitting, in lieu of several essays, one haiku and one original recipe using organic kale.”

Thankfully, kale is an extremely versatile vegetable.

There Has to a Better and More Sane Way

bryan B image
“You can get a top-notch education anywhere. It simply depends on how much effort you are willing to put in.”

A somewhat true statement, albeit sometimes hard to implement. However, this I have come to learn is very true: “Basically, if you work hard and people like being around you, you can go far in almost any field, regardless of where your diploma is from.”

I have seen Behar’s example play out many times:

Right now, I work with a super bright man who went to a small bible college in Oklahoma. And we have ended up on the same show at the same time at the same position. And I don’t think he’s perseverating about the fact that he didn’t go to Brown. In fact, since I split a salary with my writing partner, he probably makes twice what I make. So I’m sure he’s not perseverating about it. Or feeling the need to ever say “perseverating.”

Can everyone please read this article and then chill out? Like he said, he’s no psychologist or educational consultant, but there is a lot of truth in his in words that we all need to hear.

Expanding Students’ Thinking about “Good” Colleges

The recent report from the Harvard Graduate School of Education entitled “Turning the Tide” suggests and recommends a lot of things. The report is in the news all of the time, so although I have no desire to read more about it, I do. Of all of the suggestions and recommendations, the one that I keep coming back to is recommendation #5: Expanding Students’ Thinking about “Good” Colleges

“Admissions officers and guidance counselors should challenge the misconception that there are only a handful of excellent colleges and that only a handful of colleges create networks that are vital to job success. It is incumbent upon parents to challenge this misconception as well. There is a broad range of excellent colleges across the country, and students who attend these colleges are commonly successful later in life in the full array of professions. There are many paths to professional success, and students and parents should be far more concerned with whether a college is a good fit for a student than how high status it is.”

The problem with this recommendation is that it ignores a) there are a ton of excellent colleges where meaningful networks can be created and b) there are many parents (and counselors) who have been for a long time encouraging students and families to look beyond the rankings, brand names and the haze of prestige.

I spend a good amount of time talking to parents and students who are “stuck” focused on a certain school or set of schools, many times unable to face the reality that attending one of these schools or school X of their dreams is slim. Most of the time, it has nothing to do with anything other than numbers, plain and simple, yet most students and families take this very personally because they have narrowly defined what a good (or even great) college is.

The saddest part of these conversations is knowing that either party is disappointed when they do not need to be, and that may of them wallow in this disappoints for the entire application process. There are so many GREAT colleges that fit the needs of so many students the choices are almost endless. I don’t know, but to me this is exciting. Having 3-5 solid options sounds like a dream to me, and this can be the reality for most students with proper planning and expectation setting (which includes having an expanded definition of what a ‘good” college is).

Having worked with college applicants for almost five years now, I know from experience how wonderful it is when a student receives a multitude of acceptances or acceptance to their top choice. This is not the result of luck, but of an appropriate college list. An appropriate list consists of a majority of match schools, and a few safeties and reaches—not a few safeties and then all reaches just for the heck of it. When you craft a list that sets your student up for success, nine times out of ten, the process ends on a positive note. The mindset of “just giving it a shot [regarding reaches]” is not a good one; it rarely if ever works out well.

There is very little if no luck at all in this process! Also, why would anyone want to attend a school where they are going be unsuccessful or be at the bottom of the class academically compared to their peers? Many people answer because they will build a better network, or because it is better to surround yourself with people that are smarter than you. To this I say you will find people smarter than you wherever you go, especially in college—take a peek at any honors program and you’ll see. Regarding network, sure, there may be some merit to this argument in some cases, but if you want entry into certain circles, there are ways to make that happen with hard work and a little persistence. A degree from college X is not always the only way to reach a desired career or network related outcome. Lastly, I’d rather attend a school that fits my academic profile and do my best to excel and rise to the top of the class than fall somewhere in the middle. If you have grad school in your sights, then this is key—you need a killer GPA, no exceptions, for a top graduate program.

When students and families expand their thinking about good (and I say, great) colleges, they open up a world of possibilities and from my experience, avenues for not only academic success but genuine happiness with their college experience. It is time to stop thinking so narrowly about college.