How To Avoid Infecting Kids With Your Anxiety
I work with too many kids with anxiety these days, so when I saw this I thought I would repost. Worth a read!
Source: Fatherly.
A Guide to Getting a Bachelor’s Abroad
There was a time when the self-confident undergraduate took a semester or two abroad to taste an unfamiliar culture and dip a toe into the waters of higher education on a foreign shore. Today, tasting is timid stuff.
While graduate programs have long attracted international students, undergraduates are seizing upon the vast opportunities to enroll in foreign colleges for a complete bachelor’s degree. The number of options to do so is growing by the year. The online platform StudyPortals reports an estimated 5,670 English-language degrees in non-Anglophone countries. In Europe alone, 300 colleges and universities offer more than 1,500 English-taught bachelor’s degrees, according to Beyond the States, an international college adviser.
The benefits of a thoroughly international education in the age of globalization are conspicuous. But the game-changer is that college abroad can save parents tens of thousands of dollars. In many countries, including Turkey, Thailand, Brazil, Iceland and some in continental Europe, college is either free or virtually so, with tuition less than a couple thousand dollars. Many other universities offer a bachelor’s degree for under $7,000 a year.
Icing on the cake: It’s possible to obtain financial aid, both need- and merit-based, from universities outside the United States, as well as government aid from home. (The Department of Education website lists nearly 900 foreign colleges and universities where Americans can use federal financial aid.)
A bachelor’s abroad isn’t for everybody. Students must be prepared to immerse themselves in the customs of an unfamiliar habitat far from home. It’s an endeavor for the intensely curious and resourceful, those who can adapt to systems that do grading, testing and instruction quite differently. Forget intercollegiate sports, frats and clubs. Even partying is not the same — less binge drinking, for example — and campus life, when there is any, isn’t as cozy. But the rewards are great, say graduates and educators, and recognized by employers seeking go-getters.
Giovanni Hashimoto, a 23-year-old out of Washington, D.C., transferred to the University of Milan after two years at Pacific Union College in California. Though it took some digging online and follow-up emails, Mr. Hashimoto, who speaks no Italian, found what he wanted in the university’s English-language political science and economics program. With tuition at $4,000, he calculates he saves $20,000 a year studying in Italy.
But, more critically, acquaintances in Washington’s world of public policy and politics, where he wants to eventually work, told him that a foreign degree “connotes a willingness to try things outside one’s comfort zone” and would work in his favor.
Read about college options abroad in the UK, Ireland, Continental Europe, Australia, and Singapore here.
Do We Give Children Too Many Trophies?
I think so, and I might not be alone.
Ashley Merryman, the co-author of “NurtureShock: New Thinking About Children,” argues that participation trophies can send a dangerous message:
If children always receive a trophy — regardless of effort or achievement — we’re teaching kids that losing is so terrible that we can never let it happen. This is a destructive message, because how we react to kids’ failure is just as crucial as celebrating their success. A recent study found if parents thought failure was debilitating, their kids adopted that perspective. If parents believed overcoming failure and mistakes made you stronger, then their children believed it, too.
Thus letting kids lose, or not take home the trophy, isn’t about embarrassing children. It’s about teaching them it can take a long time to get good at something, and that’s all right. Kids need to know they don’t have to win every time. It’s O.K. to lose, to make a mistake. (In a study of Gold Medal Olympians, they said a previous loss was key to their championships.)
It’s through failure and mistakes that we learn the most.
We must focus on process and progress, not results and rewards.
Read more here and join the discussion on The Learning Network!
Why I’ve Stopped Doing Interviews for Yale: Because the Admissions Situation is Crazypants.
Ben Orlin is right, college admissions is crazypants. The Business Insider article that stemmed from his Twitter post is worth a read.
Rejection by a university ought to feel like getting swiped left on Tinder,” he wrote. “There’s nothing terribly personal about it. The admissions office doesn’t really know you. The university is just looking out for its own interests, and you don’t happen to fit into the picture.
Orlin’s hesitation to be a part of a process that results in near total disappointment for applicants is even more understandable when looking at Ivy League acceptance rates.
For the class of 2020 the admission rate is below 10% for almost all Ivy League schools.
He flips that number around to talk about how many rejection letters Yale doles out.
No matter how sincere their intentions, the Yale admissions team is beholden to grim statistical reality: 94% of students are getting rejection letters,” he wrote.
Orlin suggests that Ivy League admission decisions should be chosen by lottery, and have base requirements that students must meet before applying in the first place. Will it happen? No. But something needs to be done.
Money for College Game Show
The White House — together with the website College Humor — released a video featuring Michelle Obama that tries to show how silly it is not to fill out the FAFSA. Watch it above!
Early Admission Stats – Class of 2020
As you determine if you are going to apply to a school ED, or a few schools EA or REA, it may be helpful to know last years early admit rates. Early admit rates tend to be much higher than RD admit rates. Check out where the schools on your list stand, below!
Class of 2020 Early Admission Results
| Institution (Plan) | Applied | Admitted | Rate | Link |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| Amherst (ED) | 454 | 180 | 40% | Link |
| Boston College (REA) | 8,600 | 2,700 | 31% | Link |
| Boston University (ED) | 3,461 | 1,050 | 30% | Link |
| Bowdoin (ED1) | 614 | 207 | 34% | Link |
| Brown (ED) | 3,030 | 669 | 22% | Link |
| Columbia (ED) | 3,520 | Link | ||
| Cornell (ED) | 4,882 | 1,337 | 27% | Link |
| Dartmouth (ED) | 1,927 | 494 | 26% | Link |
| Davidson (ED) | 692 | 290 | 42% | Link |
| Dickinson (ED1) | 251 | 220 | 88% | Link |
| Duke (ED) | 3,455 | 818 | 24% | Link |
| George Washington (ED) | 1,373 | 841 | 61% | Link |
| Georgetown (REA) | 7,027 | 892 | 13% | Link |
| Georgia Tech (EA) | 14,861 | 4,424 | 30% | Link |
| Hamilton (ED) | 578 | 240 | 42% | Link |
| Harvard (SCEA) | 6,173 | 918 | 15% | Link |
| Harvey Mudd (ED) | 464 | 77 | 17% | Link |
| Johns Hopkins (ED) | 1,907 | 559 | 29% | Link |
| Kenyon (ED) | 378 | 240 | 63% | Link |
| Middlebury (ED) | 954 | 398 | 42% | Link |
| MIT (EA) | 7,767 | 656 | 8% | Link |
| Northwestern (ED) | 3,022 | 1,061 | 35% | Link |
| Pitzer (ED) | 423 | 117 | 28% | Link |
| Pomona (ED) | 914 | 177 | 19% | Link |
| Princeton (SCEA) | 4,229 | 767 | 18% | Link |
| Scripps (ED) | 236 | 113 | 48% | Link |
| Stanford (REA) | 7,822 | 745 | 10% | Link |
| Tufts (ED) | 2,070 | 663 | 32% | Link |
| Union College (ED) | 400 | 228 | 57% | Link |
| University of Georgia (EA) | 14,516 | 7,500 | 52% | Link |
| UNC – Chapel Hill (EA) | 19,682 | 6,948 | 35% | Link |
| Notre Dame (REA) | 5,321 | 1,610 | 30% | Link |
| UPenn (ED) | 5,762 | 1,335 | 23% | Link |
| Virginia (EA) | 16,768 | 5,203 | 31% | Link |
| Vanderbilt (ED) | 3,400 | 800 | 24% | Link |
| Wesleyan (ED) | 1,009 | 381 | 38% | Link |
| Williams (ED) | 585 | 246 | 42% | Link |
| Yale (SCEA) | 4,662 | 795 | 17% | Link |
Source: College Kickstart
Tags: Boston College, Brown, Class of 2020, Colorado College, Columbia, Cornell, Dartmouth, Davidson,Dickinson, Duke, Early Action, Early Admission, Early Decision, Georgetown, Georgia, Georgia Tech, Hamilton,Harvard, Harvey Mudd, Johns Hopkins, Middlebury, MIT, Northwestern, Notre Dame, Pitzer, Pomona,Princeton, Scripps, Stanford, University of Pennsylvania, University of Virginia, Vanderbilt, Wesleyan, Williams,Yale
Class of 2021 – Early Admission Plan Changes
Many schools have updated/changed their admission plans this year. College Kickstart compiled a list that I include below. Make sure you are up to date!
Class of 2021 Admission Plan Changes
| Institution | ED1 | ED2 | EA1 | EA2 | REA | Comments |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Assumption College | + | ED1 added | ||||
| California State Polytechnic University – San Luis Obispo | – | ED1 removed | ||||
| Drake University | – | EA2 removed | ||||
| Elmira College | – | – | + | ED1/2 replaced with EA | ||
| Fairfield University | + | ED2 added | ||||
| Haverford College | + | ED2 added | ||||
| Loyola Marymount University | + | ED1 added | ||||
| Pace University | + | + | ED1 and EA2 added | |||
| Providence College | + | ED2 added | ||||
| Saint Anselm | + | ED1 added | ||||
| Seton Hall University | + | EA2 added | ||||
| Texas A&M University – Engineering | + | EA added for engineering | ||||
| The New School – Eugene Lang | – | + | ED replaced with EA | |||
| Tulane University | + | – | SCEA replaced with ED1 | |||
| University of Chicago | + | + | ED1/2 added | |||
| University of Illinois – Urbana Champaign | + | Revamped EA | ||||
| University of Miami | + | ED2 added | ||||
| Wake Forest University | + | ED2 added | ||||
| Wellesley College | + | ED2 added | ||||
| Wheaton College – MA | + | ED2 added | ||||
| Willamette University | – | ED2 removed |
Source: College Kickstart
Tags: Assumption, Cal Poly SLO, Class of 20201, Drake, Early Admission, Elmira, Fairfield, Haverford, Loyola Marymount, New School (Eugene Lang), Pace, Providence, Saint Anselm, Seton Hall, Texas A&M, Tulane,University of Chicago, University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign, University of Miami, Wake Forest, Wellesley,Wheaton – MA, Willamette
Book Recommendations from IECA Members
Recently, some fellow IECA members sent around a compilation of books, and I want to share them. I have read many of these books, and suggest students and parents take a look! Enjoy!
Helping Teenagers & Parents Deal with the Pressures and Stress of the High School Years:
- How To Be a High School Superstar by Cal Newport
- College Admissions Together: It Takes a Family by Steven Roy Goodman & Andrea Leiman
- Where You Go Is Not Who You’ll Be by Frank Bruni
- You Are Not Special: …..And Other Encouragements by David McCullough
- Brainstorm: The Power and Purpose of the Teenage Brain by Daniel Siegel
- Your Defiant Child: Eight Steps to Better Behavior by Russell Barkley
- Parenting with Love and Logic by F. & J. Fay Cline
- Parenting Teens with Love and Logic: Preparing Adolescents for Responsible Adulthood by F. & J. Fay Cline
- The Seven Habits of Highly Effective Families by S. Covey
- Parenting Teenagers: Systematic Training for Effective Parenting by D. Dinkmeyer & G. McKay
- Mindset: The New Psychology of Success by Carol Dweck
- How to Talk So Kids Will Listen and Listen So Kids Will Talk by A. Faber & E. Mazlish
- Building Resilience in Children and Teens: Giving Kids Roots & Wings by M. Kenneth & R. Ginsburg
- Raising Self-Reliant Children in a Self-Indulgent World: Seven Building Blocks for Developing Capable Young People, by S. Glenn & J. Nelson
- Boys and Girls Learn Differently: A Guide for Teachers and Parents by Michael Gurian
- The Wonder of Girls by Michael Gurian
- The Wonder of Boys by Michael Gurian
- Second Shelter: Family Strategies for Navigating Therapeutic Boarding Schools and Residential Treatment Centers by R. Haid & E. Donnelly
- Attachment-Focused Parenting: Effective Strategies to Care for Children by Daniel Hughes
- The Parent Playbook by Russell Hyken
- Parenting the Hurt Child: Helping Adoptive Families Heal and Grow by G. Keck & R. Kupecky
- Unconditional Parenting: Moving from Rewards and Punishment to Love and Reason by Alfie Kohn
- The Price of Privilege: How Parental Pressure and Material Advantage are Creating a Generation of Disconnected and Unhappy Kids by Madeline Levine
- How to Raise an Adult: Break Free of the Overparenting Trap and Prepare Your Kid for Success by Julie Lythcott-Haims
- Teens in Turmoil: A Path to Change for Parents, Adolescents and their Families by C. Maxym & L. York
- An Unchanged Mind: The Problem with Immaturity in Adolescence by John McKinnon
- To Change a Mind: Parenting to Promote Maturity in Teenagers by John McKinnon
- When Parents Love Too Much: Freeing Parents & Children to Live Their Own Lives by M. Meyerson & L. Ashner
- The Blessings of a Skinned Knee: Using Jewish Teachings to Raise Self-Reliant Children by Wendy Mogel
- Blessing of a B Minus: Using Jewish Teachings to Raise Resilient Teenagers by Wendy Mogel
- Positive Discipline for Teenagers: Empowering Teens and Yourself through Kind and Firm Parenting by J. Nelson & L. Lott
- Crucial Conversations: Tools for Talking When Stakes are High by K. Patterson
- Real Boys: Rescuing Our Sons from Myths of Boyhood by William Pollack
- College that Change Lives: 40 Schools that Will Change the Way You Think About College by Laren Pope
- Power and Compassion: Working with Difficult Adolescents and Abused Parents by Jerome Price
- The Journey of the Heroic Parent: Your Child’s Struggle and the Road Home by Brad Reedy
- The Overachievers: The Secret Lives of Driven Kids by Alexandra Robbins
- Raising NLD Superstars: What Families with Nonverbal Learning Disabilities Need to Know About Nurturing Confident, Competent Kids by Marcia Rubinstein
- Boys Themselves by Michael Ruhlman
- The Good Enough Child: How to Have an Imperfect Family and Be Perfectly Satisfied by Brad Sachs
- The Good Enough Teen: Rising Adolescents with Love and Acceptance (Despite How Impossible They can Be) by Brad Sachs
- Why Gender Matters: What Parents and Teachers Need to Know about the Emerging Science of Sex Differences by Leonard Sax
- Boys Adrift: The Five Factors Driving the Growing Epidemic of Unmotivated Boys and Underachieving Young Men by Leonard Sax
- Girls on the Edge by Leonard Sax
- Parenting Your Out of Control Teenager: 7 Steps to Reestablish Authority and Reclaim Love by Scott Sells
- Parenting from the Inside Out: 10th Anniversary Edition: How a Self-Understanding Can Help you Raise Children by D.J. Siegel & M. Hartzell
- Not By Chance Tim Thayne
- How Children Succeed: Grit, Curiosity, and the Hidden Power of Character by Paul Tough
- The Parents We Mean to Be: How Well-Intentioned Adults Undermine Children’s Moral and Emotional Development by Richard Weissbourd
- Parenting Your ADD Child: A No-Nonsense Guide for Nurturing Self-Reliance and Cooperation by Craig Weiner
The Transition from High School to College:
- For Students:
- The Naked Roommate: And 107 Other Issues You Might Run Into in College by Harlan Cohen
- For Parents:
- Letting Go by Karen Coburn
- When Your Kids Go To College – A Parent’s Survival Guide by Carol Barkin
- Almost Grown – Launching Your Child From High School To College by Patricia Pasick
- Emptying the Nest: Launching Your Young Adult Toward Success and Self-Reliance by Brad Sachs
- The Naked Roommate: For Parents Only: A Parent’s Guide to the New College Experience by Harlan Cohen
College Admissions Summer Reading
Brennan Barnard, Director of College Counseling at The Derryfield School in Manchester, New Hampshire, annually asks college admissions deans and high school counselors to send him recommendations of books that are “great” summer reads. You can see last year’s list here; the 2014 list here, the 2013 list here in the New York Times, and the 2016 list, below. Some solid reads on this list, and many that I have read!
For Parents:
“Untangled: Guiding Teenage Girls through the Seven Transitions into Adulthood” by Lisa Damour
Recommended by: Sally Diehl, Director of College Counseling, Roland Park Country School, MD
“Far From the Tree: Parents, Children and the Search for Identity” by Andrew Solomon
Recommended by: Suzi Nam Director of College Counseling, Germantown Friends School, PA
“Pressured Parents, Stressed Out Kids” by Wendy S. Grolnick, Ph.D. and Kathy Seal
Recommended by: Beth Ann Burkmar, The Hun School of Princeton, NJ
“Our Kids: The American Dream in Crisis” by Robert D. Putnam
Recommended by: Carrie Brodsky, Associate Director of College Counseling, Westtown School, PA
“Age of Opportunity: Lessons from the New Science of Adolescence” by Laurence Steinberg
Recommended by: Amelia Johnson, Assoc. Dir. of College Counseling, Baylor School, TN
“American Girls: Social Media and the Secret Lives of Teenagers” by Nancy Jo Sales
Recommended by: Meg Scott, Associate Director of College Counseling, The Agnes Irwin School, PA
“The Teenage Brain: A Neuroscientist’s Survival Guide to Raising Adolescents and Young Adults” by Frances E. Jensen
Recommended by: Peter Jennings, Director of College Counseling, Concord Academy, MA
“How to Raise an Adult: Break Free of the Overparenting Trap and Prepare Your Kid for Success” by Julie Lythcott-Haims
Recommended by: Debra Shaver, Dean of Admission, Smith College, MA
“The Curse of the Good Girl: Raising Authentic Girls with Courage and Confidence” by Rachel Simmons
Recommended by: Debra Shaver, Dean of Admission, Smith College, MA
“The End of American Childhood” by Paula S. Fass
Recommended by: Susan Zarwell, Director of College Counseling. University School of Milwaukee, WI
“The Gift of Failure” by Jessica Lahey
Recommended by: Jed Stuart, Associate Director of Admissions, The Gunnery, CT
“Untangled: Guiding Teenage Girls Through The Seven Transitions Into Adulthood” by Lisa Damour, Ph.D.
Recommended by: Scott Orvis, Director of College Counseling, Saint Mary’s School, NC
Education-related Reads:
“Heroic Leadership” by Chris Lowney
Recommended by: Mike Sexton, Vice President for Enrollment Management, Santa Clara University, CA
“The Naked Roommate: And 107 Other Issues You Might Run Into in College” by Harlan Cohen
Recommended by: Bruce Berk, Associate Director of College Counseling, The Derryfield School, NH
“The Mother Tongue: English and How it Got that Way” by Bill Bryson
Recommended by: Michael Stefanowicz, Assistant Director of Admission, Saint Michael’s College, VT
“Class and Campus Life” by Elizabeth M. Lee
Recommended by: Jenni Pfeiffer, Associate Director of College Counseling, Rye Country Day School, NY
“Creating a Class” by Mitchell Stevens
Recommended by: Jenni Pfeiffer, Associate Director of College Counseling, Rye Country Day School, NY
“Where Everybody Looks Like Me: At the Crossroads of America’s Black Colleges and Culture” by Ron Stodghill
Recommended by: Jennifer Beros, Director of College Counseling, University School, OH
“The Paradox of Choice: Why More is Less” by Barry Schwartz
Recommended by: Carrie Horsey, Associate Director of College Counseling, Head-Royce School, CA
“U Chic, The College Girl’s Guide to Everything” by Christie Garton
Recommended by: Barbara Conner, Director of College Counseling, Foxcroft School, VA
“Ungifted: Intelligence Redefined: The truth about talent, practice, creativity, and the many paths to greatness” by Scott Barry Kaufman
Recommended by: Susan Tree, Director of College Counseling, Westtown School, PA
“The Boys in the Boat: Nine Americans and Their Epic Quest for Gold at the 1936 Berlin Olympics” by Daniel James Brown
Recommended by: Alice Cotti, Director of College Counseling and 11th/12th Grade Dean, Polytechnic School, CA
“There Is Life After College: What Parents and Students Should Know About Navigating School to Prepare for the Jobs of Tomorrow” by Jeffrey J. Selingo
Recommended by: Bernadette Condesso, Director of College Counseling, Poughkeepsie Day School, NY
“Other People’s Children: Cultural Conflict in the Classroom” by Lisa Delpit
Recommended by: Liz Pleshette, Director of College Counseling, Latin School of Chicago, IL
“Remaking College: Innovation and the Liberal Arts” by Edited by: Rebecca Chopp, Susan Frost, Daniel H. Weiss
Recommended by: Karen Bartlett, Assistant Director of Admissions, Middlebury College
For Fun and Thought:
“The Art of Fielding” by Chad Harbach
Recommended by: Eric Ahlstrand, Assistant Director of Admission, Furman University, SC
“Americanah” by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie
Recommended by: Chemeli Kipkorir, Director of University Guidance, African Leadership Academy
“Self and Soul: A Defense of Ideals” by Mark Edmundson
Recommended by: Matt Struckmeyer, Director of College Counseling, Laguna Blanca School, CA
“Between the World and Me” by Ta-Nehisi Coates
Recommended by: Elizabeth Jamett, Director of College Guidance, University Liggett School, MI
“Where Am I Wearing?” by Kelsey Timmerman
Recommended by: Tracy Stockard, Director of College Counseling Gilmour Academy, OH
“Peak: Secrets from the New Science of Expertise” by Andres Ericson and Robert Pool
Recommended by: David Bonner, Dean, King Low Heywood Thomas School, CT
“It’s Kind of a Funny Story” by Ned Vizzini
Recommended by: Moira McKinnon, Director of College Counseling, Berwick Academy, ME
“Life on Purpose: How Living for What Matters Most Changes Everything” by Victor J. Strecher
Recommended by: Mr. Nicholas Kourabas, Director of College Counseling, Solomon Schechter School of Westchester, NY
“Blindspot: Hidden Biases of Good People” by Mahzarin R. Banaji and Anthony G. Greenwald
Recommended by: Stephanie Balmer, Head of School, Harpeth Hall School, TN
“The Nightingale” by Kristin Hannah
Recommended by: Jody Sanford Sweeney, Associate Director of College Counseling, William Penn Charter School, PA
“Aristotle and Dante Discover the Secrets of the Universe” by Benjamin Alire Sáenz
Recommended by: Scott Herrmann-Keeling, Mary Institute & St. Louis Country Day School, MO
“Grit: the Power of Passion and Perseverance” by Angela Duckworth
Recommended by: Chadwick Fulton, Associate Director of College Counseling, St. Andrew’s Episcopal School, TX
“Just Mercy: A Story of Justice and Redemption” by Bryan Stevenson
Recommended by: Janelle Holmboe, Vice-President for Enrollment, Warren Wilson College, NC
“Being Mortal: Medicine and What Happens in the End” by Atul Gawande
Recommended by: Matthew DeGreeff, Director of College Counseling, Middlesex School, MA
“David and Goliath: Underdogs, Misfits, and the Art of Battling Giants” by Malcolm Gladwell
Recommended by: Ivar Moller, Director of North American Admissions, The University of St. Andrews, Scotland
“Creativity, Inc., Overcoming the Unseen Forces that Stand in the Way of True Inspiration” by Ed Catmull
Recommended by: Rhody Davis, Director of College Counseling, Viewpoint School, CA
“Callings: The Purpose and Passion of Work (A StoryCorps Book)” by Dave Isay
Recommended by: Mindy H. Rose, Director of College Counseling, Peddie School, NJ
“All the Light We Cannot See” by Anthony Doerr
Recommended by: Bruce Barton, Director of College Counseling, Holderness School, NH
“Straight Man” by Richard Russo
Recommended by: Corie McDermott-Fazzino, Director of College Counseling, Portsmouth Abbey School, RI
“City on Fire” by Garth Risk Hallberg
Recommended by: Carl Ahlgren, Director of College Counseling, Gilman School, MD
“The Wright Brothers” by David McCullough
Recommended by: J. Carey Thompson, Vice President for Enrollment and Communications/Dean of Admission, Rhodes College, TN
Full article by Valerie Strauss/Washington Post here.
Thinking About Majoring in Business?
Food for thought from R.
What I’d tell teenagers today: pick a good liberal arts school and learn how to think.
I totally agree! Especially if a student thinks an MBA is in their future. Having worked in MBA admissions, I know that an undergraduate degree in business is not a prerequisite for admission to a top-tier MBA program. Many applicants admitted to HBS, GSB, Columbia, Wharton, etc., come armed with liberal arts degrees or backgrounds in humanities. Within Wharton’s MBA Class of 2017, for example, 42% of students represent humanities majors, while only 29% represent undergraduate business majors. I have nothing against undergraduate business programs, in fact, I think many of them offer innovative programming and provide students a solid foundation in business education—but learning how to think is also important.