- I start a conversation with, “I am not one of those helicopter parents, but…”
- I read my child’s emails and respond to them.
- I fill out the visit form for my kid in the admission office lobby.
- I unintentionally enter my email when I fill out my child’s application.
- my question during the information session begins with, “My son would like to know if…”
- my child is only considering universities at least 2000 miles away from me.
- my child’s Common Application lists his birthdate as 10/21/1972.
- I would like to see the residence hall I will be staying in.
- I rub every statue on a college campus for “good luck,” even if it’s not a tradition to do so.
- I have been banned from contributing to College Confidential.
- I buy a sticker from every college tour “just in case!”
- I consider changing my child’s name to something that sounds like the college’s founder.
- I call colleges when my student is in sixth grade to ask advice on course schedules and extracurriculars.
- I have accidentally signed my child’s name on a document at work because it’s become a habit.
- I have any admission office’s phone number saved in my contacts.
- I text my child a talking point during their interview.
- I post on Facebook, “We submitted our college applications!”
- my child’s college essay sounds like it was written by a 45-year-old.
- I call the admission office pretending to be my child and get their login information for the portal to find out “my” decision.
- I create a “more important title” for a volunteer group my daughter is on so it sounds better for college applications.
- I hand out my business cards at the college fair on behalf of my son because he is too busy and couldn’t attend.
- I am more concerned than my child is about that “dreaded” B-.
- I hand-write thank you notes to admission officers in obvious dad language and sign it from my son even though no 17-year-old boy writes like that.
- I ask for advance notice of the admission decisions to “mentally prepare” my child.
- the phrase, “This is their decision!” is immediately followed by, “But I think they really want…”
- my child receives an admission decision from a college he didn’t know he applied to.
- the college counselor recognizes my number…on their cell phone…on Christmas morning.
- colleges mistakenly address all mailing flyers to me, and not my child.
- every sentence my child says in college counseling meetings starts with “well, my dad wants me to…”
- I spend more time on Google Docs working on my child’s college essay than my child does.
- I have an excel file listing all the people who might write recommendations on my child’s behalf.
- I’ve directed my child into the extracurricular activities most preferred by elite colleges since they could walk.
- I show up uninvited to meetings my student has scheduled with their college counselor.
- I don’t allow my student to take any ownership of their college process.
- I ask more questions on a campus tour than my student.
- I compare college lists/decisions at cocktail parties with other parents.
- I buy a college sweatshirt in my size.
Did you find yourself feeling a little uneasy as you read this list? Did some of these warning signs hit a bit too close to home?
Okay, so some of these are just for fun, but many aren’t a joke. Head to Forbes to read Brennan Barnard’s full article. In it, he provides some thoughtful commentary as well as an amazing reading list, which includes one of my favorites:
- “How to Raise an Adult: Break free of the Overparenting Trap and Prepare Your Kid for Success” by Julie Lythcott-Haims
Give his article and Lythcott-Haim’s book a read if you have not already!
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